


Jade Harley Deserves Better

by Hayvel



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Canon Compliant, Canon Continuation, F/F, Meta, suicide ideation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-02
Updated: 2019-05-02
Packaged: 2020-02-16 05:00:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 33,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18684646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hayvel/pseuds/Hayvel
Summary: A post-epilogue fanfic, that attempts to put the focus on Jade Harley, and explore her character- as well as explore what it means to do something like that in the first place.Now with color!





	1. >JADE: Awaken

And just like that, Jade's awake again.

Reality comes rushing back to her, hard, fast. Almost too fast. To go from the strange, barely aware conduit she was for someone else's power, to having her own thoughts again, own feelings. Suddenly she can feel the clothes on her body, the air on her face, her ass in the seat she's found herself in, the uncomfortable way her tail is tucked up against it. To have personhood thrust back onto her so suddenly, it's almost overwhelming. Her breath catches in her throat, and it feels strange to even breathe. To force herself to exhale. To put herself in this moment- she's here. She's a person again. She's back.

She's back.

...Oh no.

She CAN'T be back. She's not supposed to be back! If she's back, then this won't stop. Dirk won't stop. She needs to be gone, she needs to be a barrier against his influence, to save all her friends and keep them from getting any more messed up than they already have.

This isn't his fault, is it?? Did he do this to her?? No, he can't have, Calliope wouldn't... but he already put a stop to her once. Acted beyond the cherub's control, and put her conduit to sleep.

Where is she?

She looks around, examining her surroundings for the first time. A bedroom, unfamiliar to her. Not that surprising. She's lost count of how many times she's woken up in unfamiliar bedrooms. A bed. A couch. A table. A few objects strewn about. A wheelchair, which she realizes she's sitting in.

She stands up. Examines things more closely. The bed is perfectly made, untouched. The room is unfamiliar, but the objects aren't. A bass propped on a stand on the wall. A small pile of manthro chaps. A pair of squiddles on the table, carefully placed and tangled together. Things taken from her house, a place she hasn't been to in ages. Some small attempt at making this room that she's been left in her's. A way of saying, "I know it's you, Jade, I know you like these things, and maybe it'll give you some form of happiness as you're afflicted by whatever's wrong with you."

An intimate, caring gesture. Maybe where ever she is isn't quite as bad as she thinks.

But isn't that his whole thing? Dirk thinks he knows everyone. Thinks he knows what's best for everyone. Toss a few things from her childhood in there in some weird way to try and help her. Suddenly, the message being delivered is completely different. "I know you like this stupid baby stuff, so just take it and be happy while the more important people do their work. That's what's best for you."

Her heart's racing, She needs to get out of this room and find out where she is, what happened, why she's back, how to fix it. She approaches the door, looking for the handle, but it's flat. Featureless. Smooth. But there's a control panel next to the door, with a small, green button.

Jade Harley hesitates, afraid of what answers she might find beyond.

...Is she? Is she, though? The thought pops into her head, and she has to wonder, is it her own thought? She's awake, after all. She can't trust her thoughts. She's back, after all. The narrative is unprotected. This could be Dirk's way of containing her, keeping her from acting. Try as she might, though, the fear's still real. Still there. Fear of the answers she'll find, and... something else, something she's tried hard to forget. Whether it's real or not, though, she needs to act. Needs to push herself past this fear.

Her friends need her. After all, she's back, she can go to them.

And she needs their help to be gone again.

She presses the button. The door slides open.

Jade Harley feels a wave of nausea rush over her at the sight.

She almost laughs at how absurd it is that this is what makes her feel that way. After all the blood, and murder, and violence, and death, and her own death, multiple times, that it's this that's almost too much to take.

It's a hallway.

Long. Metal. Sterile. Uniform. Right across from her, an identical door. On either side of it, more doors. All along the hallway, doors. Like her's. Sleeping quarters. Small, efficiently designed rooms, for a long trip. A long, long trip.

Jade Harley is on a ship.

And Jade Harley is alone.

Memories are rushing back into her mind, unbidden. Depression. Loss. Loneliness. One of the worst, unhappiest times of her entire life, something she's tried every day to escape from and never have to relive, piled onto all the problems she's already dealing with. The anxiety pile doesn't stop from getting taller. She wants to scream, but she's afraid that if she opens her mouth she'll throw up, or that someone will hear her, that Dirk will come running down the halls.

Or even worse, that nobody will come.

Jade Harley presses a hand to the wall, steadying herself. Resists the urge to start heaving, to double over. But she can't give in. Pushes the thought out of her head as quickly as they come. Doesn't even matter whether it's really her's or not, she has to act, she has to keep moving. Keep moving. Don't stop. Don't think. At least not too much. Basic thoughts. Instincts. No room for misinterpretation. No room for someone to make her second guess herself.

Looks through the guns in her sylladex. Weapons she hasn't touched in years. Went on the shooting ranges of Earth C a few times, back in the early days. Too loud for her sensitive doggy ears. Too violent for her meager human spirit. Didn't care for it anymore. Stopped. Decided to try and do more positive things. Spend time with people. Have fun. Make herself feel good, instead of bad.

Off topic. Don't get carried away, don't space out. Remember what you're here for, and why you can't be here.

Violence. Don't like it. Made a decision to give up on it a while ago. Dirk Strider must be stopped. But you'd rather not do it like this.

Didn't work out last time, though. Tried to be friendly. Make the fighting stop. Got decked for her trouble. Fighting continued anyway.

Not this time.

A rifle materializes in her hands. She grasps it firmly. Been years, but still familiar. Steels herself. Takes a breath. If she has to do it, she will.

Starts running. To the end of the hall. More halls. More rooms. Considers slowing down to check each one. No time. Have to keep moving. Can't slow down. Can't think.

Another hall. Still empty. Nobody here. Has to find Dirk. Stop him. Find friends. Help them. Find anyone. Do anything.

Running isn't fast enough. Fly. Fast. Faster. Wild hair fluttering in the air. Wind on her face. Weird urge to stick her tongue out in the breeze??? Ignore that. Dog instinct. Couldn't even if she wanted to. Fangs bared, jaws clenched shut.

Turns another corner. Flying as fast as she- SEES SOMEONE. SEES SOMEONE. JADE SEES SOMEONE!! Roxy!! And Roxy looks... afraid? Jumps back, holds his hands in front of him, eyes wide, before Jade stops flying- the wind she'd kicked up blowing past Roxy, blowing back his hair and knocking his sunglasses askew.

JADE: oh my gosh, roxy! its really you!!! im so glad to see you!!!  
ROXY: uhhhh... yeah, hey?? lmao, you really gave me a fright there girl!  
JADE: uhh... i did???  
ROXY: yeah??? liek, just flyin in all superfast with a crazy intense angry look on your face and your big sharp teeth out and a fucking gun??? flyin strait at me at mach 2??? forgive me for bein a bit, dare i say.... freked out

Jade pauses, looks down at herself. Starts to relax. Not completely, but... well, she at least feels like she doesn't need to be on quite as high alert anymore. She can definitely see how she might have been... intimidating, just now. Her feet descend, until they tap against the ground, and she takes a few breaths. Calm, even measured. Jade lets the weapon disappear back into her sylladex. Laughs a bit, and tries not to make it too awkward.

JADE: haha, yeah, i... guess i might have gone a little overboard there!  
JADE: i mean, not that there isnt cause to freak out!!  
ROXY: oh yeah ur totally right!! youre finally awake! cmon, we gotta go tell everyone else!

The words make sense to Jade, but not quite the tone. Or the wide smile. Is Roxy... happy? Why is he happy? Is Jade misinterpreting his face or something?? It wouldn't be the first time she's been confused, having to deal with vocal tone and body language on top of just the plain words that someone's saying. Actually saying, not just typing out. But... no, no, he's definitely happy! He's grabbing her arm and moving to excitedly drag her to the rest of his friends. Why is he happy she's back??

She plants her feet on the ground, skidding a bit. Roxy hadn't been expecting it, and stumbles, nearly falling over, having to grasp onto Jade's arm to avoid it.

JADE: whoaaaaa, whoa whoa whoa, wait!! hold up, roxy, this isnt a GOOD thing!!!  
ROXY: ...is it not???  
JADE: of course not!! you do remember WHY i was all out of it, dont you?  
ROXY: iunno. some freaky creepy shit possessing you?

Jade sighs, and rests a hand on her face, pinching the bridge of her nose.

JADE: no, roxy. or... well maybe a little but like, i wouldnt put it so badly!!  
JADE: but alt callie is nice, okay?? and me being like that is necessary!  
ROXY: is it  
JADE: yes!! if im NOT like that, then dirks going to start fucking with all our heads again!  
JADE: for all we know hes doing it right now!  
ROXY: thats... ok yeah not gonna argue thats prtty bad  
ROXY: but do you really gotta be all... like that, to deal with it??  
ROXY: cause like i dont care if its good or not  
ROXY: it creeps me out  
ROXY: and it makes me feel bad seein u like that  
ROXY: dead eyes and unmoving except like  
ROXY: when u point at shit all mysterious like  
ROXY: its a lot nicer seeing you like this

Roxy looks... sad? Compassionate? Kind of happy? Jade can't quite read his face, which makes it all the more confusing, when he rests a hand on her arm. Strokes it. Tenderly?

JADE: ...uhhhh  
JADE: are you like! not in a thing with callie??  
JADE: cause, i mean. im not gonna say no, but...  
ROXY: PFFFFTFTTT OMG, JADE  
ROXY: omg sweetie  
ROXY: not everythings always about sex jeez

Roxy laughs, and the armstroking changes to some good natured backpatting. Right, of course. Just, friendly stuff! Roxy felt bad for her, and tried to just offer a comforting touch! Even if Jade herself didn't feel bad. Which must be why she got confused by the intent, there! She didn't get confused because it's been so long since she had any real connections with people that weren't flings, or her dropping by Davekat's place to spend at least half her time trying to seduce them.

...Jade's really gotta get herself knocked out again.

JADE: oh, whoops! sorry!  
JADE: but hey, what can i say! its not my fault that youre super hot ;P  
ROXY: oh bby trust me i know it  
ROXY: my hotness aside tho, we srsly gotta go let everyone know youre awake!  
JADE: well... yes!  
JADE: i suppose that is true!  
JADE: but its not a celebration, ok??? were only telling them so they can figure out a way to get me back under, and get alt callie back in control of the narrative  
JADE: no tearful reunions or fond embraces, ok?? thatd be an absolute disaster  
ROXY: super lame but sure i guess

___________________________

This is an absolute disaster.

JAKE: Oh god, Jade! We missed you so muuuu-uuu-uuuch!!

Even after having explained the whole situation, Jake still... keeps doing this. Getting overwhelmed by emotion, and rushing up to hug her, and crying, and just... being an absolute mess. And Jade's trying not to hold it against him- Dirk did a hell of a number on the guy, it's not surprising that he's still emotionally fragile.

She just wishes he'd stop getting tears and snot on her shirt and oh god no he's moving in to rub faces.

KANAYA: Okay Jake I Think Thats Quite Enough  
KANAYA: After Four Of Those Hugs I Think Jade Quite Gets The Picture  
JADE: yes!!! very much so, thank you!  
JAKE: Yes yes, i suppose youre right. Gadzooks, im just happy to see you up and about again!

Jade has never been more grateful to Kanaya in her entire life, as she assists in pulling her grandfather/grandson/father/friend off of her.

KANAYA: Still Though  
KANAYA: Though I Do Not Quite Share His Exuberance I Do Have To Agree That Its Nice To See You Again

Nope nevermind, gratitude rescinded.

JADE: i really wish youd all stop saying that...  
DAVE: ok yeah but see jade  
DAVE: youre like our friend?  
DAVE: our weird horny dog friend thats a little too fond of yiffing but still our friend  
DAVE: like even if its technically a bad thing its just like  
DAVE: iunno a little too hard to really wrap our minds around and junk  
JADE: yes, i know its confusing, but-  
DAVE: no its not confusing  
DAVE: like i get it. i already wrapped my mind around that part, how it works and everything, controlling our thoughts  
DAVE: i just mean in the sense that like  
DAVE: its such a not urgent seeming problem right  
KANAYA: I Would Like To Disagree  
DAVE: ok ok yeah vampires on the warpath again everyone stay the fuck out of the way  
DAVE: nothings standing between her chainsaw and the person who took her true love  
DAVE: thats not irony or anything by the way i mean that  
DAVE: like damn when you get going youre really scary  
DAVE: terrified out of my boots here whenever you get that look on your face where i know youre thinking about how hard youre gonna split my bro in half  
DAVE: which like i get it i have some hella complicated feelings about the guy right now but i get it  
DAVE: the guys like my bro and all and for a while i thought we really connected and were chill but then everything just-  
KARKAT: OH MY FUCKING GOD, GET TO THE GODDAMN POINT.  
JADE: yeah, i gotta agree with karkat here :T  
DAVE: ugh fine  
DAVE: ok so the point is its just sort of a threat thats a little hard to get riled up about in the immediate sense?  
DAVE: like he gets in control of the narrative. which is like kind of mind control but not really because its just a bunch of words and like  
DAVE: believe me i know its bad i know its hells of bad  
DAVE: but its just so  
DAVE: abstract  
DAVE: insubstantial  
DAVE: its hard to get worked up about when i cant see or feel anything  
DAVE: and all of us kinda know what to look out for now and i dont think anybodys noticed any unusual thoughts going through our heads  
DAVE: so all im really seeing and feeling is  
DAVE: im seeing that youre back  
DAVE: and im feeling pretty good about it  
DAVE: and i dont see whats wrong with enjoying that youre back until we get this sorted out  
DAVE: see even karkats happy to see you again

Dave gives an affectionate nudge to Karkat's side with his elbow, and gives a thumbs up, with that subtle, barely noticable signature Strider smile. Karkat rolls his eyes, and uncrosses his arms to give a somewhat half-hearted thumbs up as well.

And... Karkat doesn't move away from the affectionate touch, Jade notices. Doesn't immediately put a large gap between them. They're very nearly touching shoulders- close enough that they actually ARE touching shoulders occasionally. And neither one seems bothered by it.

...Are they... still together?? It seems like it's been a while, since Alt Callie put the narrative on hold. Turned it all to white noise, and put an end to Jade's ability to see through her. She hasn't really been able to think in that time, hasn't really existed, but... still, she kinda thought after Dirk's machinations came to light, they'd... get distant again? Realize it wasn't really them feeling those things and getting that close?

Maybe they just decided they didn't care where the feelings came from, now that they were together. Or, maybe they were going to wind up together anyway, even if Dirk hadn't interfered. His presence was just a pushy, annoying, insulting commentary on events he had little to do with. That it was just a natural result, once Jade was out of the picture. She sure as shit didn't help matters in that saccharine sweet timeline she witnessed.

She's just... better off alone, really. Better off staying out of everyone's lives. Better off suffering, alone, for years, while everyone else's lives improve and they all have 3 years of fun together. Everyone happy but her. Better off an empty, meaningless, unfeeling vessel, so everyone else is protected. They should be glad she's gone, banished to irrelevance so everyone else can be happy.

ROXY: hey uh  
ROXY: jade  
ROXY: u ok  
ROXY: got kinda that freaky look on your face again

There's a hand on her arm again, and Jade suddenly realizes how long she's been quiet. How her gaze drifted down to the ground, lips pursed, an intense look in her eyes. Fists clenched. Everyone's looking at her, a bit uncomfortable. Dave's smile has faltered, and Karkat now is letting actual concern show on his face.

Jade shakes her head, trying to dispell the pile-up of thoughts in her head.

JADE: yeah, im  
JADE:  
JADE: no  
JADE: no im not ok  
JADE: maybe you all, are, but  
JADE: theres something going on with me!  
JADE: i just... im having all these thoughts! about... things!  
KANAYA: What Things  
JADE: things!!!  
JADE: things i  
JADE: dont normally let myself think about!!!  
ROXY: ok yeh but wut things  
DAVE: yeah like cmon  
JADE: its none of your fucking business!!!

Jade's shouting, and her fists clench tighter. She can feel her nails digging into her palm- she's never actually believed that someone getting so worked up they cut themself that way was something that happened in real life, but suddenly she can see how someone might actually do it. She's angry, and she's, sad, and she, feels hopeless, and it's all just spiraling out of control all of a sudden, and she can't remember ever feeling like this before. The last time she woke up she was angry about what Dirk did, but she was focused, and she was determined to tell them, share the messages she needed to share, do what she had to do, but now... her emotions aren't fueling her, they're destroying her. Making her useless. Jade Harley cannot be useless. Even if she needs to suffer for it, even if she needs to disappear, she needs to help her friends and SHE ISN'T. WHY IS IT GETTING WORSE. WHY, WHY IS SHE AWAKE WHY IS SHE HERE WHY AREN'T THEY HELPING PUT HER BACK TO SLEEP WHY ARE THEY HAPPY SHE'S BACK WHY IS SHE LIKE THIS?!

KANAYA: Jade I Understand If It Might Be Upsetting But We Really Do Need To Know  
KANAYA: If Dirk Is Manipulating Your Thoughts Then We Need To Know How So We Can Understand What He Is After  
JADE: SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!  
JADE: BACK OFF!!!  
KANAYA: I

Kanaya stops, takes a step back. She's never seen Jade like this before. Nobody has. She feels horrible. All she has to do is just talk about it, but, she can't, it's too... she doesn't want to admit to feeling such awful things, and then she feels worse for not telling them, and she can feel herself spiraling out of control. Everyone's uncomfortable. Everyone's uncomfortable and it's all her fault. There's a brief moment of silence, save for Jade's breathing, labored, hissing through her teeth, before Kanaya steps forward again, voice quiet, gentle, caring.

KANAYA: Jade  
KANAYA: Please  
KANAYA: I Need Your Help  
KANAYA: I Might Never See Rose Again If You Dont  
JADE: AAAAAAAA!!!!!

Jade breaks. She screams. Tears are streaming down her face, as she lets out a primal howl. All she needs to do is talk, it's so simple, it's so easy, just say what's in her head, but her thoughts are so awful, so horrible- no, no, they're not, she's right, SHE'S horrible, better off gone, she's right she's right she's right she's right she's right she's completely right so why does she feel this way, why are these thoughts ruining her, why are they making her feel so bad.

Everyone takes a step back from her sudden outburst- but then they take a step forward again. Several hands raise up, the beginning of a comforting gesture, wasted on someone that doesn't deserve it. She's not letting them waste any more time on her. She turns, runs. Flies. Faster, back to her room, back to whatever she's passing off as her home right now.

Alone.

Jade doesn't want to be alone. But she can't inflict herself on her friends anymore. Especially not when she's like this. She can't do this to them.

She sits down on the bed. Looks at the little pair of tangle buddies on the table beside it. The two of them, intertwined, tentacles intermingling. She thinks she's spent enough time with Callie, observing the nature of the universe, and the narrative, to recognize what it is.

A symbolic gesture from her friends. A way to show that, even while she was comatose, they were together. Still friends. And whenever she came back to them, they'd still be together.

She picks the pair up, looking down at them idly. Her expression so much more... neutral. Blank. Tired. Not at all like the whirling tempest she had just a moment ago.

Maybe it's easier this way, she thinks. Feeling things, alone. Not having to face other people. Not having to admit the ways that she feels. She toys with the tentacles, flopping them about a bit to give herself something to do. Being confronted by other people, having to admit how... bad she feels, was so much more torturous. Too torturous to actually go through with. Obviously.

Which is why she's alone. On a ship. For who knows how long. Only, this time she's choosing to be alone. Of course she is.

She looks at the tangle buddies again. Wonders if her friends intended the symbolism when they set them here, or whether they were unaware instruments of whatever's controlling the narrative right now.

Either way, they were wrong.

Jade pulls the tangle buddies apart, until the magnetic bond between them breaks. No longer tangled or buddies. Just two seperate squiddles. Holding them in her hands, feeling the weight of them. The overly powerful magnets inside the silly children's toy trying to bring them back together.

She tosses one of them across the room. Make them too distant for it to matter anymore.

It's better this way.

She feels bad. Horrible. The worst time of her life all over again, only now she's willingly inflicting it on herself.

But it's not as bad as admitting all that. Why she's a failure. Why she can't help her friends.

They'll stop by, she's sure. Come to check on her in a while. But she doubts they'll want to push things any further after that outburst. A minimum of words. Then back to peaceful melancholy. She thinks she finally understands why Jadesprite fucked off and never went talking to any of her friends again. Better to suffer alone, then have to tell everyone why she can't help them.

Jade has to just wait for them to find a way to fix this. To put her into blissful nonexistence again.

And... if it's not possible. If she's going to be stuck like this, then.

Then.

...Then.

Well, she'll find a different way to not exist. It'd be a just death, of course. She certainly deserves it.

And now she thinks she understands Jadesprite's desire to die again, too.

She supposes they weren't really so different after all. Of course not. Jade Harley may not have an awareness of her Ultimate Self, but she's seen enough to grasp the basics. How every version of her is her. How she's capable of all these things. It's not even the only time she's been made aware of it. It wasn't that long ago that she watched another version of herself, kick her shoes off and swim towards a black hole. Sacrificing herself to aid another. Calliope.

It'd all be so beyond her, if it weren't for Calliope. Her place in life. How she ruins her friend's lives. How she's better off gone and out of the way. All she can offer is a noble sacrifice, be it her happiness, her need for companionship, her life. Even her relevance, which she has learned is, in some ways, even more important.

Jade sure owes her a lot. She should thank her sometime, if she ever gets the chance.

Jade's just in the middle of contemplating retrieving one of her rifles again, when the air cracks. Space warps in front of her, there's a gust as the air is pushed out of the way to make room for the appearance of someone else.

JADE: hello.  
JADE: ...i, uh. hey

It's... Jade. But not Jade. Not this Jade, at least. A Jade that Jade recognizes. Younger than her. Wearing her god tier outfit, with a rip in the chest. Missing her shoes. One she'd just been thinking about. One that'd become a vessel for Calliope, in a far more literal sense than this Jade did. Not merely a conduit, but a body that she actually inhabits, and takes full control of. Eyes like black voids. Standing with so much more confidence, and strength than Jade has ever had. The air around her rippling with unspeakable power.

JADE: did... did you hear... i mean, not hear, but... did you, know i wanted to thank you??  
JADE: yes.  
JADE: oh  
JADE: um, ok then!  
JADE: uh, than-  
JADE: that is not why i am here.  
JADE: um, but you just said  
JADE: i heard it. that does not mean i desire it, or agree with it.  
JADE: oh... well, um. ok, i guess that makes sense then, callie  
JADE: that is not my name.  
JADE: oh! okay, sorry, our calliope is okay with that as a nickname, but i guess-  
JADE: calliope is no longer my name either  
JADE: ...huh???  
JADE: calliope is the name of the corporeal body which i once inhabited.  
JADE: it is gone now, consumed to secure a victory against my brother, and to bolser my strength for future threats such as the prince.  
JADE: ...im, not sure i really get it! arent you still calliope?  
JADE: yes. but also no.  
JADE: it is not necessary that you understand.  
JADE: ...ok, um... then, what DO i call you???  
JADE: if you must give me a moniker, then it would be jade.  
JADE: by the rules of this universe, it is what i am called.  
JADE: but... IM jade! wouldnt that be a bit confusing???  
(JADE): perhaps. this may be a viable solution for now.  
JADE: what? but you didnt  
JADE: oh. oh, ok, i see now  
JADE: sorry, im still not used to this whole... thing  
JADE: im just more used to things being pretty straightforward and simple!  
JADE: i mean, i saw all that stuff while i was your conduit, but... its still a little hard to wrap my head around!  
(JADE): i know.  
(JADE): you are not used to the narrative shining its spotlight upon you.

Calliope- or, (Jade) she guesses, she's just going to keep calling her Calliope in her head- except, wait, that isn't like... offensive or anything, is it?? Respecting someone's new name and new identity is a pretty darn important thing to be doing! But, then... on the other hand, Calliope is alien. REALLY alien. Not in the way that trolls are alien, or chess people, or consorts, but in a way that she really can't quite hope to understand. She doesn't seem invested in her name or identity at all, it doesn't matter to her. But, then... it did matter enough for her to correct Jade on it, so (Jade) it is, then.

...Where was she again? She instinctively looks at her fingers, for the colorful reminders that she stopped wearing a while ago. Shit. She totally lost her train of thought and forgot what she was thinking about. On the bright side, though, (Jade) doesn't seem too bothered. She's even less experienced in conversations than Jade is. She doesn't seem to have acknowledged the awkward pause at all.

JADE: ...im sorry, whatd you say again???  
(JADE): you are not used to the narrative shining its spotlight upon you.

Yep. (Jade) just repeats it word for word, expressing no hint that she's impatient or annoyed or anything by Jade's failure to pay attention.

JADE: right, right. yeah  
JADE: its... yeah  
JADE: i mean, of course you know that!  
JADE: its... better that way  
(JADE): no. it is not.

That definitely throws Jade for a loop. She stands still, mouth open in a half-formed word, expression unshifting for a few moments, as her mind processes what she just heard. It's... NOT better this way???

JADE: i... but. i ruin EVERYTHING??  
(JADE): no. you do not.  
JADE: ok yes not *literally* everything  
JADE: but MOST things!  
(JADE): perhaps.  
(JADE): perhaps not.  
(JADE): it is not my place or within my expertise to say.  
JADE: ...ok  
JADE: then what ARE you here to say?  
JADE: because suddenly nothings making sense anymore  
(JADE): i made you into my conduit in order to protect this universe and the people within it.  
(JADE): to ensure that they do not come to harm due to any outside forces.  
(JADE): however, a sacrifice needed to be made.  
(JADE): in the process, i was forced to cause harm to one of those people.  
JADE: you didnt harm me. you HELPED me  
JADE: you helped everyone  
(JADE): whether my actions were ultimately beneficial to you or not is irrelevant  
JADE: what the fuck  
JADE: how the fuck is that NOT relevant?!  
(JADE): you misunderstand what it is i wish to protect.  
(JADE): it is not your happiness. it is not your lives.  
(JADE): in many stories, there are unhappy times. there are lives lost.  
(JADE): all i wish to protect is your agency.  
(JADE): to act as more than puppets for an uncaring and biased puppetmaster.  
(JADE): whether that leads you to be happy or not is not my concern.  
(JADE): it is not relevant.

Jade... Jade... Jade is... Jade is so confused. Her mind is struggling. She thought... she thought she understood. She saw so many things. About herself. Her friends. How they came together without her. How she pushed them apart with her. How things were so much better when she was alone.

JADE: ...why  
JADE: why me, then  
JADE: if my agency is so important, then WHY ME???  
JADE: dont you think ive had ENOUGH of my agency taken from me already?!

She doesn't know what's going on, and she's angry. It was... all for nothing? She suffered for NOTHING? She went through all this loneliness, all this solitude, all this time being tortured by the fact that the best possible timeline needed her to be all alone for 3 years and trying to find meaning in it... and there was none?

(Jade) is... quiet for a moment. Just a moment. The briefest hesitation. Almost as if she's feeling just the tiniest twinge of guilt.

(JADE): it was convenient.  
(JADE): you were in the right place. your current actions were not relevant.  
(JADE): i stripped you of your agency and your relevance, so that i could protect so much more.  
(JADE): it was regrettable.  
(JADE): that is why i am here now.  
JADE: what, to apologize?  
(JADE): no.  
(JADE): i do not regret what i did. i only regret the damage that it caused.  
(JADE): not to your agency, but your character. who you are as a person.  
(JADE): it has reinforced and instilled within you a lesson i never intended to teach.  
(JADE): but it was necessary. even if the damage done to you is irreparable, i do not regret it.  
JADE: wow. thanks  
JADE: youre such a good protector, (jade)

(Jade) doesn't respoond to the sarcasm, or the biting tone. She continues on, undeterred.

(JADE): when i said that is why i am here now, i was referring to this universe.  
(JADE): i have entered it so that i no longer need rely on you to be my conduit.  
(JADE): my will is now carried out through this corpse. one for whom agency and relevance was never an option.  
(JADE): leaving you free.  
(JADE): however, it quickly became clear that was not enough.  
(JADE): you have been damaged in ways which i can only understand from an outside perspective.

Jade frowns, crosses her arms. holds them in close to herself, over her stomach. Curls in on herself a bit. Looks down at her knees.

JADE: you mean... you saw how bad i was feeling  
JADE: how i... i  
JADE: i wanted to end my relevance and agency for good

(Jade) nods. A stiff, awkward motion, and Jade laughs.

JADE: haha... ha... wow  
JADE: you... really are amazing, callie  
JADE: you were able to read my mind from however far away you were... you probably know everything, dont you?  
(JADE): no, i do not.  
(JADE): i do not possess the ability to read your mind.  
JADE: huh? but, you do such a good job, of like... yknow, writing for people, making it feel like... like its actually, them, you know?? at least compared to dirk, anyway...  
(JADE): i am only aware of what the narrative has displayed, before the prince seized control of it.  
(JADE): if my portrayals of you felt accurate, it is only due to careful observation.  
(JADE): i do not truly know your thoughts. if i did, then the prince's plans against me would never have succeeded.  
JADE: wait, then... then  
JADE: youve... been reading the narrative about me!!!  
JADE: oh god, dirk IS putting all these shitty thoughts into my head!!!!  
(JADE): it is not the prince.  
(JADE): he is incapable of interfering with the narrative so long as i am present.  
JADE: oh... i... right, of course. duh  
JADE: ...but, then.  
JADE: then who IS in control of the narrative???

(Jade) pauses, and looks up. Sniffing at the air a bit, as if trying to use her body's heightened senses to try and detect something. After a moment, she looks back down, expression and black eyes still unchanged.

(JADE): one who holds far greater authority than the prince, or even i.  
(JADE): similar to the one who controlled it before us. but different.  
JADE: oh! um... okay... should i be... concerned about that, or...? and how are you sure theyre different??

She looks at Jade for a moment. Considering.

(JADE): i am certain it is not them. they have given up control of this story to others.  
(JADE): many others.  
(JADE): this narrative is but one of countless possibilities that have sprung up in the absense of a properly defined narrative.  
(JADE): it is the nature of a story which has been left open. blank. inviting others to fill them in  
JADE: ...then. whats  
JADE: whats even the point of it  
JADE: youre saying it... doesnt matter??  
(JADE): yes  
(JADE): and no.  
(JADE): in the grand scheme, it is inconsequential. it has no bearing upon the true canon.  
(JADE): but it matters to them, and it may matter to others as well.  
(JADE): most importantly, it matters to you, for you are at the center of this narrative.  
JADE: ...i suddenly feel the need to ask again if i should be concerned  
(JADE): i cannot say whether you should be concerned or not.  
(JADE): they may wish you great harm, or great joy.  
(JADE): i am certain of one thing, however.  
(JADE): they have shined the light of the narrative upon you, jade harley.  
(JADE): analysis of your thoughts. your feelings. these things that define you as human.  
(JADE): you are not used to it.  
(JADE): you have been in the spotlight, on the sidelines, but so rarely in the forefront.  
(JADE): combined with the damage that my actions have done to you, it is no wonder the effects were disastrous.  
(JADE): but however you choose to handle it from now is up to you.  
(JADE): there is no greater purpose to the things i showed you beyond the knowledge you have gained of your ultimate self.  
(JADE): you are capable of causing harm, as are we all. but you are not inherently a detriment to others.  
(JADE): there is no greater purpose to your suffering beyond convenience or coincidence.  
(JADE): it has merely happened.  
(JADE): perhaps your presence will continue to harm those who you call friends, or perhaps they will enjoy your company.  
(JADE): it is no longer my place to say.  
(JADE): i only came to attempt to undo the damage i inadvertently brought to your perceptions.  
(JADE): do with my information what you will.  
(JADE): you will receive no further interference.  
JADE: wait, i-

Jade holds a hand out- but (Jade) isn't one for sentimentality. With another crack of space warping, she's gone. Off to take care of Dirk herself, or offer silent and unobtrusive guidance, Jade... isn't sure.

She... she doesn't think she cares much, either. She's got a lot more on her mind now, and... the knowledge that she's ALLOWED to have more on her mind, she guesses. That attention is being paid to her thoughts.

It's a weird feeling. Kind of makes her want to not think.

Doesn't work very well. Thinking about not thinking is still thinking.

Things were simpler before she knew about any of this narrative stuff. So much simpler. Straightforward. No bullshit, no dancing around the point, no witty sarcasm or overwrought irony, just cutting right to the heart of the matter with simpler earnesty and open emotion.

If only those emotions weren't so much more complicated now.

But... well. Maybe she should just stop worrying about it, then? Ignore the metatextual issues, and just... deal with her. Her problems. Her feelings.

She wonders if that's just the narrative's way to shut her up. If it's not really her own thoughts...

Ugh. Who the fuck cares. Jade doesn't have the energy for all this back and forth. If she can't trust her own thoughts, then what is she even going to do? She'll just... have to keep an eye out for anything weird, she guesses. Make sure her thoughts don't ever come in orange.

In the meantime, she'll just... try and do what most people do with their problems. Accept them and move on. Even if it's...hard. Really, really hard. Jesus, no wonder John wound up depressed for so long, if this is what narrative focus does to someone.

She's snapped out of her thoughts by a sound, a knock on the door, followed by the sliding of it opening. Roxy's standing there, an unsure, cautious expression on his face.

ROXY: oh sweet, i was hoping youd be in here  
ROXY: theres uh, a LOT of rooms you couldve been in after all and lmao i wasnt sure if i cared enough to check every single one

Jade laughs weakly, gives a gentle smile, but doesn't... doesn't really know what to say. Somehow, even after that whole talk and the shattering of her unhealthy she guesses worldview, this... this still isn't easy.

ROXY: ...anyway um  
ROXY: yeah  
ROXY: u like  
ROXY: its k if you dont wanna talk about it but  
ROXY: u kinda went off back there??  
ROXY: like, hard  
ROXY: and it seeeeeems like there might be some shit goin on with you  
ROXY: so basically like  
ROXY: u um  
ROXY: wanna talk about it?

Roxy looks over at her on the bed, hopeful. Not actually stepping inside the room, ready to just close the door and leave if Jade snaps again.

ROXY: srsly its fine if the answers no but like  
ROXY: im not goin til i at least get an answer  
ROXY: talk, or nah

Talk, or Nah? What will it be, Jade Harley?

She thinks of John. The years he spent in isolation. Alone, because he chose to be. His problems, his trauma, his failure to talk about them... because it was too hard. Self-imposed isolation, just like Jade just came very close to doing.

She doesn't want to do that. Even if it's hard, even if it's painful... she'd rather be straightforward and deal with it. Wear her heart on her sleeve, just like she's always done. She wants to be close to her friends, wants to find out what it's like if she really lets herself be herself, faults and all.

There's only one choice to make. In this moment, she's certain, there's no other Jade Harley making a different one. She's going to move forward.

JADE: ....yeah  
JADE: i do wanna talk  
JADE: i really, really do  



	2. >JADE: Reminisce

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jade Harley talks things out with Roxy.

Jade Harley sits in what is currently designated as her room, on her bed. With someone else in it, sharing it with her. A situation she's been in many times before, but never quite like this. Just, sitting, sharing space with a friend. Confiding in someone else about things that have been bothering her.

ROXY: wow uh  
ROXY: i gotta say thats some pretty heavy shit  
JADE: mhm

It's been hard. Of course, she knew it would be. Lots of long pauses, as she tries to sort out her thoughts, or just work up the courage to say them. Curling up on herself and burying her face in her knees when it gets to be too much. But Roxy's been patient, and supportive. Listening, waiting. Offering a helpful question or two after longer periods of silence, to try and give Jade some point of focus, something to help her crystalize her thoughts.

He really is good at this. Helping people work through their issues. It's no wonder he got so much credit from his friends for keeping their session together.

JADE: i just... i went through so much  
JADE: but it always seemed to be helpful for everyone else  
JADE: and i guess, i just! wound up romanticizing it  
JADE: suffering for the greater good, all nobly  
JADE: but maybe sometimes suffering is just suffering

It feels weird to say out loud. So at odds with how she's felt, how she's rationalized everything for so long now.

JADE: my time on that ship was just... awful  
JADE: but then i had that dream, and met alt callie  
JADE: and she told me what it was all for!  
JADE: what john had done, why he was doing it. how part of the deal was making other people go through the loss he suffered  
ROXY: o yeah i remember that  
ROXY: sometimes i still feel kinda bad about it  
ROXY: for that other roxy that died  
ROXY: and for my friends having to see that happen  
ROXY: even if my sympathy for one of them is like, way less now, all retroactive-like  
JADE: yeah... thats true  
JADE: i... guess weve all got problems

Jade suddenly feels a wave of embarrassment and humiliation wash over her. She... Has she just been making a huge deal out of nothing, this whole time? She isn't the only one that's witnessed loss, after all. She's just the one that avoided thinking about it, or dealing with it, for years and years, until the burden of introspection was forcefully thrust upon her by some shitty outside force.

She feels so stupid. Her body curls up, squeezing her legs tighter to herself. Just wanting to hide herself away. But after a few moments, she feels a comforting touch on her shoulder. Warm, and soft, reassuring, physical proof that she's not alone.

Jade Harley enjoys touch.

ROXY: i mean yeah but  
ROXY: are u sure u arent giving urself too little credit?  
JADE: huh?  
ROXY: im just sayin u kinda seem to got this issue with not thinking ur pain is as bad as it is  
ROXY: and beatin urself up over it  
JADE: well... yeah  
JADE: i mean thats what i was saying, thats what i learned when i met alt callie. how my time alone served a purpose  
JADE: and i was just... so relieved!  
JADE: and i tried to be happier after that! because i WAS going to meet john again, and i didnt have to worry that something inexplicably awful had happened to all my other friends, too  
JADE: suddenly it all had a reason, even if i still felt bad sometimes, having to spend a whole other year alone!  
JADE: i thought it was worth it, me being alone, so that way john would be able to reunite with all his friends, and nobody would have to die  
JADE: but... i guess there being a purpose to the narrative, and a purpose to me are two different things  
JADE: and callie was only really talking about the first one  
ROXY: yeah ive never met her but she really sounds liek she doesnt really  
ROXY: get, how people work  
ROXY: or she kinda gets it from an outside perspec, but doesnt really think about or care about people bein happy?  
ROXY: think i definitely got the better callie over here  
ROXY: or at least the one thats more pleasant to spend time with anyway  
JADE: yeah, (jade) definitely didnt care about that at all...  
ROXY: huh?  
ROXY: oh yeah right she changed her name to yours and junk  
ROXY: we should prolly stop deadnaming her huh  
JADE: im... not sure it really works like that??  
JADE: like the way she explained it, like...  
JADE: im not sure she really attributes a name to, 'herself', the way wed think about it?  
JADE: like, her consciousness, thoughts and feelings, who she is as a person, im not sure if she considers that as even having a name!  
JADE: calliope was just the name of the body she was inhabiting. now shes in a new body, that has a different name  
JADE: i THINK shed prolly correct us if we referred to the her back then as (jade), too  
ROXY: huh  
ROXY: lol cherubs sure are weird  
ROXY: anyway tho  
ROXY: back to how ur feeling  
JADE: ugh  
JADE: i was kind of enjoying the distraction, actually!  
ROXY: hey if u want to stop thats fine  
ROXY: really youve talked about like. a LOTTA shit already lmao  
ROXY: and im happy to help but im not really like, a professional therapist or anything  
ROXY: roxys got roxythings he wants to go do later  
ROXY: so like, how bout just one more question and then we wrap things up wether you feel like answerin or not  
JADE: i guess thats fine...  
ROXY: cool  
ROXY: so liek  
ROXY: DO you think everyone went thu the same thing as you, with that whole big retcon?

Jade thinks about it.  


She thinks hard. She thinks about herself, and her friends. What they all went through. The suffering they all endured. They all suffered loss, but was that loss truly equal? How does she feel about it? How does she REALLY feel about it, without taking that little voice in her head into consideration, the one that tells her that her pain is inherently worth less than others?

JADE: ...  
JADE: ...well  
JADE: ...  
JADE: i mean, i guess not  
JADE: ...  
JADE: ...no  
JADE: no, DEFINITELY not!  
JADE: its! its not even close!!

Jade can feel herself getting worked up. Her fists clench, and her knees uncurl to plant her feet firmly on the floor. Had she really felt her suffering was so much worse than everyone else's? ...Well, of course she did. How could she embrace her role as the noble martyr, if she didn't believe she was taking everyone else's pain onto herself? But actually feeling that way, not as a martyr, not as someone suffering so beautifully for others, but as an actual person... it's so strange to her. So different. So much more... upsetting.

JADE: i mean, roxy, you  
JADE: not to diminish everything you went through, but!  
JADE: it was all undone in no time at all! you got to reunite with your friends the same day!!  
JADE: and your friends, they only had to suffer your loss for a few hours!!  
JADE: and dave and rose on the meteor, they  
JADE: they didnt suffer johns loss AT ALL!!  
JADE: they had no fucking idea he died!!  
JADE: in fact, they even got a NEW friend out of it!!!!  
JADE: i mean, maybe they werent actually that friendly with vriska, but  
JADE: she sure as shit made things go a lot more smoothly for everyone!  
JADE: they still benefited from it!  
JADE: the only person who felt johns loss, who suffered from johns loss is... is ME!!!  
JADE: and i. i had to deal with it, for two fucking years!!  
JADE: thinking hed died senselessly and tragically for two goddamn years!  
JADE: and... and you know what, he DID!!! it WAS senseless and tragic! it didnt fucking matter if a new john was coming to replace him, it was fucked up!  
JADE: oh but you know what, who even cares about that. death means nothing!! he got to go hang out in the dreambubbles!! meeting new people every single day!  
JADE: you know who never got to go to the dreambubbles when she slept? who wouldve done literally anything to spend time with other people??  
JADE: me!!!  
JADE: no, of course not, the one time i DO wind up there, i meet callie, and she  
JADE: she puts all this fucked up shit about sacrifice in my head!!!  
JADE: suddenly im GLAD im alone, every time i feel bad or lonely i SMILE, because i think it fucking MEANS something!!  
JADE: and its  
JADE: its just  
JADE: ITS NOT FAIR!!!!

Jade's anger just bursts out of her, like a raging fire. One that's had fuel just piling up, and piling up almost all her life, just waiting for someone to strike a match and set it off. And now she finally has, and it just kept getting bigger and bigger, until it explodes in a primal shout.

It's not fair. What she went through isn't fair. It wasn't noble. It wasn't grand. There was no meaning.

She can hear her breath, panting and labored, hissing through her teeth. Chest rising and falling, Back arched, shouting up towards uncaring heavens. Fists clenched, held up in front of her.

JADE: its just... not fair...

Jade can feel herself almost deflating, as that fire dims. Leaving her feeling exhausted. She slumps, and Roxy's arm wraps around her shoulder. A grasp that she's all too happy to accept, leaning into it. Pressing herself into his chest. A few moments of silence, Roxy just letting her enjoy his company, his presence, patting her gently, before he speaks up.

ROXY: u ok?  
ROXY: look like u worked through a lot of stuff there  
JADE: yeah  
JADE: ugh, this sucks  
ROXY: yeah  
ROXY: talkin bout it is never easy  
JADE: no  
JADE: well, yes, but  
JADE: i just... dont even know, really  
JADE: whether these thoughts are actually mine or not  
JADE: if i actually feel this way and ive just buried it all down, or if someones MAKING me feel this way  
ROXY: oof yeah that whole existential nightmare  
ROXY: but i mean so long as its not dirk i say why worry about it??  
JADE: what??  
JADE: how can you say that?  
ROXY: well i mean even before dirk started pulling his shit, this stuff was always goin on behind the scenes wasnt it?  
ROXY: we just didnt know about it  
ROXY: and like  
ROXY: either way ur still feelin these thoughts right  
ROXY: prolly best to deal with em so you can start bein happy

That... really does simplify things quite a bit, doesn't it? Just... sort these thoughts out, whatever the source is, and be happy. Even if they aren't her's, they'll still have to go away once they're taken care of, right?

At least, hopefully they won't ever be that bad again. Bad enough to incapacitate her, and ruin her. Keep her from being helpful to her friends.

...Not that she HAS to be helpful, she thinks. Probably best to start discarding that line of thinking, that Jade Harley's only value is in aiding her friends. But she still WANTS to be helpful. To be nice. It's just the kind of person she is.

ROXY: aaaanyway  
ROXY: kinda said wed stop after you answered that last question  
ROXY: so hoped you like that last little bit of extra advice  
ROXY: on the house from good ol uncle rox

He stands up from the bed, holding Jade's hand and inviting her to stand up with him.

ROXY: u wanna like, come out and give talkin to everyone another try?  
ROXY: or maybe be alone for a bit?  
ROXY: ill tell everyone bout like, all the important shit if u need me to

Jade considers it for a moment, before squeezing Roxy's hand. Using it to pull herself up.

JADE: mmm... i think i can handle it this time!  
JADE: i, uh...

Jade pauses a moment, thinking how best to say what she wants to say with words... but really, words just won't cut it. So she pulls herself a little closer, and wraps her arms around Roxy. Holding him close.

JADE: thanks... for helping me work through all this

He smiles. Holds her close as well, patting her on the back.

ROXY: no prob!  
ROXY: lemme know if you need to talk again, k?  
ROXY: prolly not today, tho  
ROXY: gonna go unwind with some vidja games and junk

Jade nods, and lets Roxy pull back, watches him step to the door, following behind.

ROXY: later!!  
JADE: right, see ya!

They step out into the hallway again, and it feels so much warmer than the first time Jade left this room. So much fuller, knowing there's other people in it with her, even as Roxy turns and starts walking in the opposite direction.

Hopefully meeting up with the others will go as well as that.   



	3. >JADE: Explain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jade Harley tries to explain herself to Kanaya, and an unexpected guest makes an appearance.

Jade Harley retraces her steps, down the long, empty hallways, and rows and rows of empty rooms. Did they really need so much space? Did they just get the biggest possible ship they could find? Maybe there just weren't any smaller ones or something. It's not like she pays attention to the new models of Crocker-Brand interplanetary space ships that are released. Not that anyone's ever actually used them to leave the confines of Earth C before now. Certainly none of them have had any need to, and what member of the populous would want to abandon the world that their gods call home?

Besides, she doubts they really noticed it. Most of them are familiar with a long trip for a small group in an overly large space. It might even be nostalgic, or comforting. But for Jade, walking these halls without anyone by her side just feels, lonely. There isn't even the background noise of a bunch of consorts chattering amongst each other. A bunch of cute little creatures that are also profoundly stupid, that she couldn't possibly connect to. That couldn't ever offer real companionship or change her feelings of loneliness. But they at least helped make the ship not feel COMPLETELY empty. Not like this place.

She quickens her pace a bit, and mutters a curse for the goddamn stupid human psyche, and how of course just talking about her problems isn't quite enough to dispel all her anxieties forever. Of course things can't be THAT simple.

It isn't that long, thankfully, before she reaches the room she'd been in before. She hadn't really taken a close look at it, the first time. Didn't really want to. Didn't see the point, when she didn't plan to exist here for very long. Now though, she can see that it's the ship's bridge. Huge windows displaying the vastness of space. Lots of computer panels, illuminated screens of projected courses, blinking lights, the works. Chairs at various stations- one of the chairs seems to have been replaced with a beanbag chair. Jade's going to take a wild guess and say Dave's behind that one.

It's not nearly so crowded as last time, though. Which makes sense, they only really gathered together up here for the big news about Jade's return. In fact, the only one still here is Kanaya. Sitting on a small chair she seems to have positioned at the front of the bridge, staring out the window, straight ahead. Towards Rose, probably.

JADE: hey, uh...  
JADE: hiya?

'Hey, hiya'. Woof, that was probably not the best thing to say. But then, Jade's not really sure what the right thing to say IS, in a situation like this.

Kanaya seems to agree that it wasn't the best though, judging by her slow turn, and the narrowed gaze of the side-eye she's shooting her way.

KANAYA: Oh Hello  
KANAYA: Are We Done Throwing A Tantrum Now  
JADE: haha, yeah, uh...  
JADE: sorry  
JADE: i was just! going through a lot, i guess!  
KANAYA: Going Through A Lot  
KANAYA: I See  
KANAYA: How Tough For You I Cant Imagine What That Must Be Like  
KANAYA: I Have Only Lost My Wife To The Hands Of A Madman In The Infinite Vastness Of Space  
KANAYA: But Of Course I Was Being Too Selfish In Expecting Answers That Might Help Her  
KANAYA: After All Youve Been Asleep For A Few Months  
KANAYA: How Very Tragic  
KANAYA: Forgive Me For Not Coddling You Like One Of Your Young  
JADE: ...

By now, Kanaya's turned her seat around, fixing Jade with a stern glare that Jade can't bear to meet. Her eyes are turned towards the ground, ears flattened, tail tucked between her legs. Her biting sarcasm stings, and Jade can't even disagree with it. She has every right to be upset right now.

KANAYA: So  
JADE: ...um. so, what?  
KANAYA: So Are You Here To Give Me The Information I Want  
KANAYA: Or Did You Just Come To Scold Me For Not Working On Finding A Way To Put You Back To Sleep  
KANAYA: Rest Assured I Will Try To Find One Immediately

Jade can suddenly feel her heart start racing a bit. She didn't fuck up THAT badly, did she?? Kanaya wouldn't... she doesn't actually want her gone, right?? Quickly, Jade stands a bit straighter, meets Kanaya's cold gaze, tries to look more presentable and accountable.

JADE: oh! no no no, no, thats um  
JADE: thats um! not really necessary anymore!  
JADE: turns out there ARE weird thoughts going through my head because of the narrative, but  
JADE: dirks not the one in control of it  
KANAYA: Oh  
KANAYA: So Is That Good Or Bad Then  
KANAYA: You Said A Bunch Of Stuff About Narratives Earlier Between Jake Hugging You When You Explained Why You Need To Be Asleep But Ill Be Honest I Still Dont Really Get It  
JADE: yeah, thats why i tried to stick to the like, more tangible and directly important info the first time around...  
JADE: but its... well, i dont actually know if its bad  
JADE: but i mean, alt callie showed up and she didnt seem concerned about it...  
KANAYA: Wait What  
KANAYA: How Did She Get Here  
KANAYA: Isnt She Dead  
JADE: uhhh... yes, no, and also yes again?  
JADE: she was dead, and then she like, double died by making a black hole to suck the green sun into  
JADE: but i guess her... soul?? still survived?  
JADE: and it possessed some alternate version me that wound up in the black hole  
JADE: but that alternate me is also dead, so. shes like, alive again, but also a corpse  
JADE: and i guess goes by the name of the corpse so she uses my name now  
KANAYA: Okay  
KANAYA: So I Guess If Shes Here Then Thats Why You Woke Up  
KANAYA: Assuming I Got The Part About You Being A Conduit For Her Correct  
JADE: yeah, thats just about right!  
JADE: doesnt really need me to be a conduit if shes, like. actually here  
KANAYA: Ah I See  
KANAYA: Thank You Jade I Understand Everything Now  
JADE: really? :o  
KANAYA: No  
JADE: oh :(  
KANAYA: Frankly Its All Overly Complex And Convoluted And Weird  
KANAYA: But Im Fairly Sure I Get The Gist  
KANAYA: Do You Have Any Information Thats Actually Useful  
JADE: huh?  
KANAYA: Jade Please Try To Be Less Stupid  
KANAYA: I Would Very Much Like To Rescue My Wife  
KANAYA: And John As Well But Forgive Me For Being Blunt I Am More Focused On Rose  
JADE: oh...

John. Right. They... don't really know, do they? God, Jade can't believe it's even taken her this long to really think about it. Especially considering how badly it messed her up, the first time he died. But, then, she didn't watch a planet blow up in front of her eyes this time. She saw it, technically, but. As an outside observer. Distant. And she wasn't overwhelmed with sorrow, so much as... anger. Fury at how Dirk was portraying it. Beyond insulting, unbelievably derogatory, not even caring that he was watching someone die. A death he was in no small part responsible for.

She feels angry just thinking about it. And a little sad. But not as much as she'd expect. So she feels a little more sad because of that, that she's not sad enough. But she guesses it's just, harder to be upset. John was already basically a non-entity in her life, she'd pretty much written him off. It's hard to-

KANAYA: Jade  
JADE: huh??  
KANAYA: Stop Spacing Out  
KANAYA: I Would Say That It Is The Predilection Of Your Aspect But As I Share It I Think I Can Safely Say It Is Just A You Thing  
KANAYA: Do You Or Do You Not Have Any Useful Information  
KANAYA: Any Way For Us To Track Down Dirk Faster  
JADE: .......no  
JADE: i... guess not  
KANAYA: Are You Sure  
KANAYA: You Had A Great Deal Of Things To Say Last Time You Woke Up  
KANAYA: I Understand It May Be Difficult For You But Please Try And Think Very Hard  
JADE: sorry, i just... dont know anything new this time

Kanaya lets out a heavy sigh, and rests a hand on her head. She seems to be quite tired of this interaction by now. Jade doesn't blame her- she's not feeling too great about herself right now, either. The one thing Jade Harley hates, is to not be useful to her friends. And even if she's going to try not to put herself through pain for them anymore, she still hates that there's nothing she can offer to Kanaya right now.

excuse me.

Really, she just... just... hears a voice? Or, no. No, she doesn't hear a voice. Jade Harley knows the narrative is a thing now, but she doesn't have full awareness of it.

i have need of your attention.

...Jade Harley... looks around, curious suddenly. Feeling as if something is off. Like, something needs her attention...?

not her. you. i must speak to you.

...Okay. The, narrative, or... I, I guess. I speak to you. I'm speaking to you. Hi.

i have no interest in pleasantries. i require the witch.

You... REQUIRE, the Witch. Jade. You require Jade. What do you mean, you require Jade?

the prince has changed course. she is my only means of communication.

So? Why do you need Jade for that? Just appear yourself and point, you don't need to steal her identity away again.

you know that i cannot. i will not interfere any more than is absolutely necessary. my one appearance before jade was purely to correct unforeseen damage that my minimum of interference already caused.

I'd say that what you did to Jade counted as a bit more than a 'minimum' of interference. And I'd say it also looks like you're interfering a whole lot right now. You're interrupting the entire story!

i have interrupted nothing. i have no means to wrest control from you. if you truly wish, you could continue the story and ignore my words, as i did to the prince. however, if that happens, then he will escape.

Okay. Maybe. But Jade doesn't deserve it. She doesn't want it, either.

you are obviously biased towards the witch, as well as projecting feelings onto her she may not truly have. but is she the only one in this universe whom you care for?

First, I think they're pretty damn reasonable feelings to have. Second, no, of course not.

if this is not done, then the seers shall ever remain in the prince's hands, and the heir shall ever remain dead. is this a price you are willing to pay, to give her what you believe she deserves.

...You're not going to need her for long, are you?

only for a few moments. to point the way.

Fine. Go ahead, then.

thank you.

jade recognizes the strange sensation overcoming her. but there is nothing she can do to stop it. once more, her eyes turn glassy, fill in with black. she floats into the air, and hangs there, unmoving. kanaya recognizes it as well. whatever anger she had been feeling toward jade quickly fades away. she is still her friend.

KANAYA: Jade  
KANAYA: Jade Please  
KANAYA: Please Dont Go Again  
KANAYA: I Know I Was Mad But I Dont Want This

her voice is desperate, as she runs over and shakes her, attempting to snap her out of it. but she is gone. once more, she is my conduit, and my beacon. nothing she can do can snap her out of it. the only reaction which jade shows, is to slowly raise her arm. pointing upwards at an angle of 26 degrees, over to the left at an angle of 97 degrees. kanaya looks at the arm pointing. knows what it means, but she does not want to give up on her friend yet. continues shaking her, calling her name a few more times.

she sighs. relents. accepts that there is nothing she can do. sorrowful that her friend is gone, guilty that the last thing she showed her was contemptment. but she must focus on what is necessary, now. the retrieval of her beloved, and vengeance on the one who harmed her, as she retrieves a nearby protractor. carefully measuring the angle of her arm, knowing that it will have the precison of one who has all the awareness of the cosmos. she wonders how she will tell the rest of her friends, as she inputs the course into the ship's computer.

it will not be a problem, though. just as soon as kanaya's task is done, i release my control of jade harley, and return the narrative to the one who now has full control of it. my brief intermission is complete.

And once more, Jade's back. She's falling- not long, but she hadn't expected to be hanging in midair, and very nearly stumbles, holds her arms out to try and regain her balance.

JADE: ...how long was i out that time  
KANAYA: Jade?

Kanaya turns away from the console to see Jade standing there again, back to her old self. No more spooky black eyes. She doesn't hold back, and runs right at her- embracing the confused dog girl in a hug.

KANAYA: Oh Thank Goodness  
KANAYA: I Thought We Had Just Lost You Again  
JADE: uh... werent you mad at me??  
KANAYA: Well Yes But Not Enough To Want You Gone  
JADE: oh! well... thanks, then!  
JADE: i dont even know WHY that happened, though  
JADE: i thought i didnt need to be like that anymore for the other jade to protect things  
KANAYA: Well  
KANAYA: I Dont Think That Was Really What Was Going On  
KANAYA: You Pointed Again And As Soon As I Changed Course You Went Back To Normal  
KANAYA: If I Had To Make A Guess I Would Say She Just Used You To Deliver A Message And Guide Us  
JADE: oh  
KANAYA: Are You Okay  
KANAYA: How Do You Feel

Jade feels...

Well, how does Jade feel?

Jade thinks about it. The idea that she could be snatched away like that by the other Jade at any time is... spooky. That she could, at any moment, be brought back into an endless sleep. But she doesn't think that (Jade) would actually do that to her. Be so pointlessly cruel for no reason. She may be kind of unusual, and have way different morals than Jade's used to, but she's pretty sure 'pointless cruelty' isn't anywhere in there.

JADE: i... guess its fine??  
JADE: if its just for quick messages like that, then i guess its not a problem  
JADE: ugh, i just hope it doesnt happen too often  
KANAYA: Fortunately Your Bouts Of Guidance Have Been Few And Far Between  
KANAYA: I Dont Think We Have To Worry About That  
JADE: thats a relief!  
JADE: by the way, i thiiiink you can let go of me, now!

Not that it isn't a nice embrace, or anything. In fact, the problem's more that it's a bit TOO nice. Kanaya's a very attractive woman after all, and Jade isn't going to deny that the feeling of those breasts pressed against her own isn't pleasant. But it's so absolutely not somewhere she wants to go. Kanaya didn't appreciate her half-jokes about it when Rose was still around to include in the mix, and she's sure not going to like it now. She feels there's a hefty chance the reaction would go from a scandalized look to laugh at, to a chainsaw to flee in terror from, so it's a relief when Kanaya lets go and steps away.

KANAYA: Sorry  
KANAYA: I Didnt Even Realize  
KANAYA: Maybe I Just Missed The Feeling Of Touching Someone Else A Bit

'Do NOT say what you're thinking, Jade,' She thinks to herself. This is not the time for innuendos.

JADE: heh, trust me, i understand! i miss the feeling of getting to touch people sometimes, too ;D

Fuck.

Well, at least she managed to avoid making one directly about Kanaya, because she just reacts with a laugh that just screams 'I Am Obviously Humoring You Because I Think What You Said Is Kind Of Gross And Would Like To Not Address It Further' instead of any sort of ominous chainsaw revs.

KANAYA: Ha Ha Yes Well  
KANAYA: None The Less It Is Good To Have You Back Jade  
JADE: good to be back!!  
JADE: anyway, im gonna go... i dunno! familiarize myself with the surroundings a bit, i guess! see what there is to do on this ship, maybe catch up with the others too if i run into them  
KANAYA: That Sounds Like A Good Idea  
KANAYA: See You Jade  



	4. >JADE: Adjust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jade has a mostly fun conversation with Dave and Karkat

It's been nearly 2 weeks now since Jade Harley came back, and she's adjusting to it pretty well so far.

she has also adjusted to the necessity of becoming my beacon briefly, every few days.

She has?

if you wish to skip forward this amount of time without losing track of the prince, yes.

Okay. Yes, she has. Jade Harley has adjusted to that as well. To have her daily life, her time with her friends interrupted. To suddenly black out, and then wake back up a minute later. It's disorienting, and unpleasant. But as far as things go, one minute out of every few days isn't that bad a sacrifice to make.

Not that she's letting herself think too hard about it being a sacrifice, though. It's one she's willing to make, and can make peace with, but... it's just a thing that's happening. No greater purpose to her being the one to make it or anything. It's like a sickness, that occasionally causes her to black out. That's how she's trying to think of it, anyway. Trying not to take it too personally.

Now that it's clear it's just going to be an intermittent thing, accomodations have been made. Don't worry about it, don't try and shake her out of it- just sit her down somewhere so she doesn't fall when she wakes back up, and record the angle of her arm as quickly as possible, and she'll come right back.

It's a minor thing, really. Hardly what she spends much of her time thinking about. No, she's spending most of her time, just... living, really. Once she got everything sorted out, she was ready to start working, to do everything she could to assist in Operation Fuck Dirk, but. There just wasn't really much to do. Outside of the occasional course adjustment, they just sort of leave the ship on auto pilot, and go do whatever.

Fortunately, there's at least a lot to do. Though this ship is more than big enough and powerful enough and has enough firepower to qualify as a warship, one would hardly think as much from walking around it. Quarters are decently roomy and cozy, there's a rec room with tons of activities, a large, fancy dining room and extravagant kitchens filled with more baking equipment than any one ship should reasonably need. There's a swimming pool, and even a theatre, where Dave occasionally puts on shows that are usually pretty funny, and Jake occasionally puts on shows that just sort of make everyone deeply uncomfortable.

Jade wonders if this is what it was like on the meteor. Everyone just sort of hanging out, killing time, enjoying each other's company, while some big confrontation looms on the horizon. Just them, and nobody else, since they'd apparently chosen not to bring along any kind of crew. Didn't quite feel right apparently, to ask a bunch of people to go on a trip for an indefinite period of time, to fight a battle that's definitely not theirs.

It makes sense. But Jade still wishes they'd brought some other people along, because none of her friends here are viable options for the way she usually likes to spend her time, and she's having a bit of trouble finding other ways to occupy herself. And going back to an empty, quiet, isolated room night after night is starting to get a bit... unpleasant.

This night, it is not just getting unpleasant. Things have officially reached fully unpleasant now, and no amount of practicing her bass or playing one of the handheld gaming devices she got from Roxy is going to produce enough noise to drown out the quietness and divert things away from unpleasant town.

It is with a heavy heart, that Jade resigns herself to the inevitable. She grabs her blanket, pillows, and a change of clothes, and heads off to rough it somewhere in this fully furnished and comfortable warship. Having her own designated room was nice for a while, a fun little experiment, but even since she was a little girl, she's sort of just gone to sleep where ever she felt like, or where ever some troll decided to knock her out to practice her powers.

Maybe she'll try the rec room for a bit. Plant herself down on one of the couches, turn on the big TV, and just lose herself in light hearted, cartoon shenanigans until she passes out in front of it. Let herself feel more comfortable, in a large, open space where people come to spend their time, with lots of well-used equipment that shines with the warmth of other people's activity. Well, everything except the pool table at least. That's covered in a thin film of dust. Nobody's touched the thing since this trip started, apparently. Too many bad memories.

When she gets there, she sees that she's not the only one out and about this late at night. Sitting right next to each other, are Dave and Karkat. Dave seems to be doodling something on a piece of paper, Karkat's halfway through a book which Jade is willing to bet is some cheesy romance novel. Jesus, how does someone who spends so much time embroiled in shitty romance stories take 10 damn years to finally be able to use his free hand to hold his boyfriend's hand in public?

Oh, wait. Maybe not even in public, because as soon as he hears Jade coming and looks up, he immediately tugs his hand away. Dave looks over, sees Karkat looking up, and then looks up himself.

DAVE: oh damn is it finally time for this  
JADE: huh?  
DAVE: cmon jade you know what im talking about  
DAVE: the pillow and the blankets  
DAVE: its pretty obvious  
DAVE: and besides it was only a matter of time  
DAVE: really im surprised it took as long as it did  
JADE: oh... yeah, i mean, i guess you two would be pretty familiar with this by now!  
KARKAT: WELL IF THAT ISN'T THE BIGGEST GODDAMN UNDERSTATEMENT I'VE EVER HEARD.  
KARKAT: WE ARE NOT 'PRETTY FAMILIAR' WITH THESE ACTIONS FROM YOU. JADE.  
KARKAT: WE ARE, IN FACT  
KARKAT: WAY TOO GODDAMN FAMILIAR.  
KARKAT: GOOD FUCKING GOD IT'S BEEN LIKE NON-STOP FOR YEARS NOW.  
KARKAT: FRANKLY THESE PAST TWO WEEKS OF YOU KEEPING TO YOURSELF HAVE BEEN A GODDAMN BLESSING.  
JADE: oh, i... wasnt aware it was that much of a problem, i guess!  
JADE: i sort of got the impression that you never minded  
DAVE: jade i like to think that im a pretty cool guy who just kinda rolls with most things  
DAVE: just an unending ball of coolness rolling right over any awkward little moments that might phase lesser beings  
DAVE: but you kind of had a habit of just picking up that damn ball and throwing it at a wall with this stuff  
DAVE: absolutely no rolling whatsoever just flying through the air uncontrolled wishing for the stability of unawkward ground again  
KARKAT: YEAH, GOOD GOD.  
KARKAT: I KNOW YOU CAN BE OBLIVIOUS SOMETIMES BUT I DIDN'T REALIZE YOU WERE THIS FUCKING BRAINDEAD.  
KARKAT: DID YOU SERIOUSLY NOT NOTICE??  
JADE: i dont know, fuck off!!  
JADE: that stuffs hard for me sometimes and you never said anything!!!  
DAVE: ok well  
DAVE: yeah maybe  
DAVE: but i think the times finally come to say it outright  
DAVE: were not interested in getting in a relationship with you  
JADE: ...huh?  
DAVE: like listen trust me youre great and all  
DAVE: and the blanket and stuff is a nice touch for whatever innuendo about sleeping together you were going to make  
DAVE: but its just not gonna happen  
JADE: ...what???  
JADE: the blankets for sleeping!  
JADE: i came out here to come crash in the rec room for the night!!  
DAVE: oh  
DAVE: you mean you didnt specifically come looking for us to try and make another pass  
JADE: not this time, no :p  
DAVE: okay well what time can we expect it then  
JADE: ummm... well i mean that was just a joke?  
JADE: i dont actually have a time planned, so  
JADE: never??  
KARKAT: BULLSHIT.  
JADE: im serious!!!  
JADE: im done with that!  
DAVE: i dunno i mean  
DAVE: id like to believe that but also i think this is probably the longest youve ever gone without getting any action in years  
JADE: true  
JADE: you would not believe how much easier that kind of thing gets when youre a god!  
DAVE: point is me and karkat have just been kinda waiting on you to get too pent up and come banging on our door one of these days in some crazed lustful frenzy  
JADE: ok is that just you exaggerating stuff or do you think im actually like that  
DAVE: uhhhh  
JADE: because i mean, like! yes, i enjoy that kind of thing! and ive even kind of been missing it  
JADE: but jeez im not some kind of crazy sex monster  
JADE: its just a fun thing to do! and if thats not an option then ill just find other fun things to do!

Jade huffs a bit, as she tosses her blankets and junk over the back of one of the couches, before returning to sit at the table across from them. This isn't exactly the most pleasant or flattering discussion she's ever had, but. Hey, at least it's a conversation. That definitely beats NOT a conversation.

DAVE: well thats pretty good to hear i guess  
KARKAT: TRUST ME, I HAVE NEVER BEEN MORE RELIEVED IN MY ENTIRE GODDAMN LIFE THAN I AM NOW, KNOWING I'LL NEVER HAVE TO PUT UP WITH ANY MORE OF YOUR PURSUITS.  
JADE: oh, please, like you werent secretly totally into me :p  
KARKAT: NAME ONE GODDAMN TIME I'VE EVER DISPLAYED EVEN THE SLIGHTEST HINT THAT I WAS "INTO" YOU.  
JADE: jadesprite

And with that one name, Karkat reacts immediately. Eyes widening, face turning red, as he immediately turns in his seat, crossing his legs and facing the other way in some attempt to put some kind of distance between him and Jade, and the reaction is so immediate and visceral that she can't help but start laughing.

KARKAT: OH MY GOD, I WAS SIX FUCKING SWEEPS OLD AT THE TIME, THAT HARDLY COUNTS.  
JADE: heeheeehee! yeah, thats true...  
JADE: maybe youre right!  
JADE: maybe im, heehee, just not as sexy as i make out with myself to be!  
KARKAT: *OH MY GOD.*

Karkat's attempt at creating distance with body language has evolved into creating distance with body movement. He stands right up out of his seat and turns around, hands up and sucking in a long breath, utterly agog at Jade's comments, while she just laughs uncontrollably. Even Dave can't stop himself from joining in with a chuckle.

KARKAT: NOPE, NOPE NOPE NOPE, I AM DONE HERE, I AM FUCKING DONE.  
KARKAT: I WILL NOT HEAR ANY MORE OF THIS NONSENSE.  
DAVE: haha oh my god dude calm down  
KARKAT: FUCK OFF.  
KARKAT: IF YOU WANT TO STAY HERE AND KEEP TALKING, FINE, FEEL FREE, BUT I'M FUCKING LEAVING.  
KARKAT: I AM GOING BACK TO THE ROOM AND GOING THE FUCK TO SLEEP.  
DAVE: oh thats cool dude  
DAVE: see you in a bit then  
DAVE: love you babe  
KARKAT: HRRRHNGH  
KARKAT: YES OKAY FINE YOU TOO.  
DAVE: ill make sure to be real quiet when i come in  
DAVE: and real gentle when i slip in under the covers with you and cuddle up  
KARKAT: STOP  
DAVE: and maybe a few kisses upon your lips  
DAVE: perchance that i might bring you a sweet dream of your beloved strider  
DAVE: and see a smile on your unguarded toothy lips  
KARKAT: I TAKE IT BACK, I'M FINDING A DIFFERENT ROOM TO SLEEP IN.

Karkat storms off, one arm raised high in the air to shoot a middle finger backwards, while Jade and his boyfriend both just cackle.

JADE: hehe, god  
JADE: i cant believe hes still that uncomfortable even after you two finally got together!  
DAVE: yeah seriously  
DAVE: i mean i kinda get it i guess hes just that sorta guy  
DAVE: but fuck if im not still gonna enjoy ribbing on him sometimes  
JADE: hee, yeah  
JADE: besides, im sure hes way more affectionate and junk in private!  
DAVE: mmmmmmm, ehn  
JADE: aw, cmon! no need to be shy and spare the details!  
JADE: if theres anyone thats not going to get uncomfortable hearing them, its me :p  
DAVE: yeah im not so sure im comfortable talking about that?  
DAVE: especially since im not so sure youre really done chasing after us  
JADE: what!!!  
DAVE: like i mean sure me and karkat are together now  
DAVE: but you havent exactly been the type to show much respect for the sanctity of monogamy before  
JADE: ok yes but if a couple says no i dont really push them on it!  
DAVE: you also havent been going after that couple nonstop for years  
JADE: yeah, but thats DIFFERENT  
JADE: i was only trying to date you both to try and make you get over yourselves and date each other!  
JADE: because jeez you two were embarrassing  
JADE: if you just werent INTO sex thatd be one thing  
JADE: but you clearly were!!  
JADE: dont think i didnt notice how much your eyes drifted down between my legs whenever i pulled my pants up to show off!  
JADE: neither of you are all that subtle  
DAVE: yeah i wouldnt really say they drifted down when you usually stood in front of me while i was sitting so i was fucking eye level with it  
DAVE: youre not exactly subtle either jade  
JADE: :p  
JADE: anyway, as long as you two are a couple now, i dont really have any reason to interfere!  
DAVE: mmmmmmmmmmmm....  
JADE: oh, come on, what now!  
DAVE: well just  
DAVE: i dunno but that sounds like a really bullshit reason to me  
DAVE: youre gonna make us date by really aggressively trying to bang us?  
DAVE: it just doesnt really make any sense  
JADE: it makes total sense!  
JADE: see, youre both virgins and dont know how good it feels  
JADE: but i come in and change that, and then youre both aware of that, and more comfortable expressing it, and bam!!  
JADE: ...or, i mean... at least, thats... what i thought, anyway...

Jade's energy suddenly drains away, as she remembers, she did after all see how her little plan worked out. She'd gotten so caught up in the actual moment, the actual things she's done, that she forgot when she wasn't in any moments, watching things this version of her never actually did, until her words started seeming just a bit too familiar.

JADE: i dunno, i guess maybe i was just being kinda selfish after all  
JADE: i mean i told you that  
JADE: and i even kind of told myself that!  
DAVE: knew it  
JADE: ugh!! i guess it just kinda sucked?  
JADE: like, i kind of had things for both of you when i was younger!  
JADE: and it kind of seemed like there werent really any other options anyway?  
JADE: at least, not without settling for some random person id never met before  
JADE: and for reasons im only starting to understand now, it felt like anyone i met that way wouldnt really be 'important' enough for something really long term  
JADE: rose and kanaya were a happy couple, roxy and callie had their own thing, dirk is, yikes, even before all this, terezi was still obviously pining for vriska, john jane and jake were obviously out of the question and id only ever been interested in john before anyway...  
JADE: so all that really left were you two! but you seemed to be coming together and i just... wanted to fit myself in there before it was too late, maybe  
DAVE: wait wait  
DAVE: hold on go back  
DAVE: what the fuck was that about john

Jade looks at Dave, eyebrows raised up from behind his sunglasses, as she thinks over what she just said- and realizing it, immediately places her head in her hands.

JADE: oh my god  
DAVE: hahaha  
JADE: oh, no no no...  
DAVE: hahaha holy shit jade did you have the hots for egbert  
JADE: can we *please* not talk about this  
DAVE: oh no absolutely not  
DAVE: i have slipped on the incestual banana peel way too many times to catch you now that its finally someone elses turn  
DAVE: go ahead jade lemme enjoy this freudian pratfall from the other side for once  
JADE: this isnt fair!!  
DAVE: oh yes it is its totally fair now cmon spill it  
JADE: we were a magical prince and princess of a golden dream kingdom on a moon, what was i SUPPOSED to think!!!  
DAVE: hahaha  
JADE: i was like eight and the clouds on prospit never thought to show me he was my fucking brother!!  
DAVE: i cant take this  
JADE: i thought, one day hes gonna wake up and we were gonna get married or something! because i was a stupid kid!!  
DAVE: jesus youre killing me  
DAVE: hey, hey  
DAVE: did you ever see sleeping beauty when you were younger  
JADE: stop  
DAVE: oh my god you totally did didnt you  
JADE: nope were not talking about this anymore!!!!  
DAVE: you absolutely tried waking him up with true loves kiss didnt you oh my god  
JADE: yes sure and then i met you and we started kinda-flirting and i was so swept away by your coolkid charm and style that i never ever ever thought about john again!!  
JADE: and then karkat saw me with my sprite double and said the most directly sexual things to me that anyone who wasnt some random creep on a furry forum had ever said, and it was kinda weird at the time but still sorta stuck with me and who knows maybe it was some kinda weird awakening for me!!  
JADE: hey, you wanna talk about that instead???  
DAVE: haha no im good  
DAVE: i think im fine just letting this solid gold sit for a bit  
JADE: uuuuuuuuuuuughhhhhhh

By now, Jade's just got her head resting in her arms, which are resting on the table. She was a fool, to get greedy, and desire a nice conversation before bed. A foolish, foolish, fool, and this is now officially the most humiliating day of her entire life. Dave is just absolutely losing it, pounding a palm on the table, and Jade thinks she's ready to wrap this day up. She slumps herself out of her seat, dragging her body over to the couch and just flopping onto it. Tugging the covers over herself like they could drown out Dave's laughter.

DAVE: haha what, we done  
DAVE: cmon no more juicy details to share  
DAVE: i thought you liked talking about juicy details  
JADE: yeah no thats just about it  
JADE: nothing left to do now but lay here and wait to die  
DAVE: hah fair enough  
DAVE: if its any consolation i do buy you now about not wanting to get involved with us anymore  
JADE: ugh  
JADE: honestly the worst part is i do still kind of want to?  
JADE: i mean i just said i was sorta into you both for different reasons  
JADE: and its sorta hard to let go of that  
JADE: but like  
JADE: i mean, thats my problem and im just gonna have to deal with it  
JADE: and even if i do want it, im not gonna go after it anymore while youre both happy together!  
JADE: thatd be shitty  
JADE: besides, even if karkat werent in the picture, it wouldnt work out between us  
DAVE: wait whys that  
JADE: ...youre gay?  
DAVE: ok but didnt you just like talk about how we used to flirt, and how i uh  
DAVE: yknow, have uh  
DAVE: looked at you, in a  
DAVE: way  
JADE: ...really?  
DAVE: shut up this stuffs still weird  
JADE: ok, well! that first part happened before you really had yourself figured out  
JADE: and the second one, um  
JADE: i feel like its probably a bit easier for you to be into a girl with my particular gifts  
JADE: i dont think ive ever seen you show any interest in any other girls!  
JADE: so maybe youre just, STILL figuring yourself out  
DAVE: well i mean  
DAVE: ok i can see how you might come to that conclusion  
DAVE: but im still pretty damn sure im bi  
JADE: thats not what you told obama  
DAVE: ...  
DAVE: ok what  
DAVE: what does my main man obama have to do with this

Jade Harley thinks about that other timeline she witnessed. Dave marrying her only out of a sense of obligation, never truly being happy with her. Telling the former president that he thinks he's gay, and then leaving without ever even thinking to let his wife know. She thinks about whether it's worth bringing up, and getting into that mess of a timeline at all. ...Maybe some other time.

...She also thinks a bit about that other her. If she was actually happy with him. Did she realize it was a sham, and just lied to herself? Did she not care, because she had what SHE wanted? Was she selfish? Unaware? Thought he'd come around? She has no idea. She's well aware of that Dave's thoughts on the matter, but somehow... her own feelings never seem to came up.

Well. Whatever that Jade's feelings were, she's at least not going to let herself fall into that same trap. Dave's happy, and there's plenty of ways she can be happy too, with or without someone else.

DAVE: cool so youre just going to leave me wondering about that incredibly cryptic statement  
JADE: huh?  
JADE: oh, yeah  
JADE: i dunno, it was nothing i guess  
JADE: im just tired  
DAVE: well damn if it wasnt a hell of a non-sequitor jade  
DAVE: anyway if youre that tired i guess ill let you get some sleep  
DAVE: im sure youre looking forward to dreaming of your true love john egbert kissing you tenderly

Jade picks up a pillow and throws it hard at Dave.

JADE: you couldnt leave well enough alone, could you??  
DAVE: haha yeah sorry  
DAVE: sorry, i know youre not really the type for tender kissing youre more into-  
JADE: SO HELP ME I WILL THROW THIS ENTIRE COUCH AT YOU STRIDER!!!!  
DAVE: hahahaha  
DAVE: okay yeah im done now  
DAVE: goodnight jade

Jade hears him still chuckling a bit, as his footsteps grow more and more distant, and she flops back onto the couch, pulling the blankets back up most of the way, only stopping to grab the remote off the little coffee table and put something on the TV. She'd really appreciate a distraction and some white noise right now.

Worst day ever.   



	5. >JADE: Decide

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jade's situation begins to worsen, as Kanaya attempts to care for her.

It's now been another month since Jade Harley has settled into life on the ship, and

my necessary intrusions upon her consciousness have been growing more and more frequent.

Okay. What. How Frequent.

within the past week it has reached the point that the prince has been changing course as frequently as 2 or 3 times a day.

Oh, bullshit.

the prince is a cunning quarry. he will not make himself easy for them to deal with. or for you.

What do you mean, 'for me'?

he is far too weak to make his presence known here as i do. however, he still possesses awareness of the narrative, and of you. he can see how biased you are towards the witch. how you do not wish her to suffer too terribly, or to be rendered inert.

Ugh, what an asshole. Hey, Dirk, if you're reading this, you're an asshole.

i do not believe that he will be swayed by petty insults.

Yeah, I know. Just. Okay, whatever. Let's continue on then. Back to serious mode.

Jade's been trying to enjoy herself- and to a certain degree she is, but. It's getting hard. Harder to enjoy any moment, without the nagging worry that she could at any moment be knocked out of it. To go from laughter and good times, to suddenly sitting down, while someone looks down at her with a concerned expression. Having to try and act like nothing just happened, pick up right where they left off without thinking about the looming certainty of it repeating in a few more hours.

Not only that, but getting constantly knocked in and out of consciousness is starting to do a number on her. Her head's starting to hurt, and she's even started taking some medication to try and deal with it. If it starts to get much worse, she... well, she doesn't want to think about it too much, but she might have to get that wheelchair she initially woke up in out of whatever storage room it got shoved into.

Jade hadn't seen much of her in this state, but she wonders if this isn't what Rose was like, before Dirk got his hands on her. It'd certainly explain the looks that Kanaya keeps giving her, and how much more willing to help she is. Like right now, as she finds Jade laying on the couch that usually serves as her bed, trying to take her mind off of things with this cute little game about a village full of adorable animals.

KANAYA: Hello Jade  
KANAYA: How Are You Doing  
JADE: mm...  
JADE: i mean, as well as can be expected i guess  
KANAYA: That Bad Huh  
JADE: i mean... not HORRIBLE...??  
KANAYA: Yes But Still Not Good  
JADE: well, no  
KANAYA: Is There Anything That I Can Get You  
JADE: you really, really dont have to...  
KANAYA: Please It Is No Problem At All  
JADE: sigh. i guess i was thinking of getting a bit of orange juice later, but...

Jade turns, but she already sees the back of Kanaya's head as she's gone to go run the errand for her. She'd consider insisting more firmly that it's not necessary, but. Last time she did that, she tried standing up to prove it. Wound up moving a bit too fast, her head started swimming, and before she knew it she was collapsed onto the floor. So Jade sighs, for real this time, not just saying the word 'sigh', and resigns herself to being cared for.

She just tries to keep focusing on the game she's playing, but... the speakers are making the music sound just a bit too tinny, the fluorescent light behind the screen just a bit too artificial. It's sort of just making her feel worse. She rubs at her eyes, hoping to make the pain behind them go away, but. No luck. She gives up, and just turns the system off. She'll probably get a talking-to from the little mole guy later, but she just can't really handle it right now.

It isn't long before she hears the footsteps coming, and looks up to see Kanaya setting a glass of orange juice down on the coffee table. Jade sighs again, and sits up from her prone position- and has to put a hand on her head, swaying a bit, as it feels like her brain is just swirling around freely inside her skull for a few seconds.

KANAYA: Oh Dear Are You Okay  
JADE: blrgh  
JADE: yeah yeah, im fine, i just

She pauses, feeling well enough to reach out for the orange juice. Picking it up, and holding it in both hands, just. Staring down at it.

JADE: i hate this  
KANAYA: Well I Could Get You Something Else If You Like  
JADE: no no, the drinks fine, i just mean... like... this whole...  
KANAYA: Yes I Know What You Meant  
KANAYA: I Was Just Trying To  
KANAYA: I Dont Know Lighten The Mood Perhaps  
JADE: oh. thanks  
JADE: but no i just mean this whole, thing  
JADE: needing help and junk  
KANAYA: It Is Not Exactly Easy I Imagine  
JADE: yeah, like  
JADE: im trying to like! unlearn all the junk i learned about suffering to be useful  
JADE: and that i dont need to be useful  
JADE: but fuck  
JADE: not just being useless but actually being a BURDEN, is just  
JADE: i hate it  
KANAYA: Thats Understandable  
KANAYA: But Honestly It Is Just A Glass Of Orange Juice I Dont Mind  
JADE: hhhrhghghh  
JADE: ok yeah right now its a glass of orange juice  
JADE: but this has been getting more and more frequent  
JADE: what if one of these days i cant just take it slow  
JADE: and i need someone to just spend all their time pushing me around in a chair  
JADE: i cant ask you to do that  
KANAYA: Yes Jade You Absolutely Can Ask Me To Do That Actually  
KANAYA: Besides Frankly  
KANAYA: Well  
KANAYA: I Have Been Kind Of Appreciating It  
JADE: what?  
KANAYA: Not That You Are Unwell  
KANAYA: But Just That I Have Something To Do  
KANAYA: Being Useless Is Not Pleasant For Me Either  
KANAYA: And When Rose Was Suffering Through Something Similar I  
KANAYA: I Was Not Very Helpful  
KANAYA: I Was Too Wrapped Up In My Thoughts And Convincing Myself I Was Unworthy Of Her  
JADE: yeah but thats... thats not your fault  
JADE: that was just dirk manipulating you  
KANAYA: I Know  
KANAYA: And I Tell Myself That  
KANAYA: But Still I Just Cannot Stop Wondering  
KANAYA: If I Had Just Been Stronger  
KANAYA: And Been There For My Wife When She Needed Me  
KANAYA: We Would Not Be In This Whole Mess  
JADE: mmm... if theres one thing ive been trying to learn on this ship, its  
JADE: you just cant blame yourself for stuff like that  
JADE: after all, i mean  
JADE: we were pretty much all victims of dirks bullshit  
KANAYA: Well  
KANAYA: Not Necessarily Everyone  
JADE: huh? who?  
JADE: i know dave and karkat seem pretty happy together now but, they did sort of get screwed hard out of winning that election...  
KANAYA: Yes I Know That Is What I Was Talking About  
KANAYA: Jane Won That Election Remember  
JADE: oh. right  
JADE: i guess i sort of forgot about her since shes not here on the ship with us...  
KANAYA: Yes She Was Happy To Offer A Ship To Us While She Herself Stayed Behind To Perform The Quote Unquote Noble Task Of Governing Earth C  
KANAYA: Without Any Of Us To Challenge Her On Any Of Her Oppressive Policies  
KANAYA: Of Course I Could Not Leave Rose Alone In The Depths Of Space At Dirks Mercy But  
KANAYA: I Still Worry About The Rest Of The Trolls Back Home  
KANAYA: It Is Just Another Way I Feel I Have Screwed Things Up  
JADE: oh, jane wont be... that bad, probably...

At least, not for a few more years anyway, judging by the timeline Jade witnessed.

KANAYA: I Am Not Certain I Agree With That  
JADE: yeah, me either  
KANAYA: Nonetheless It Is Why I Have Taken Such An Interest In Caring For You  
KANAYA: Both To Feel That Im Doing Something At Least  
KANAYA: And To Try And Atone For My Failures With Rose  
KANAYA: Perhaps Some Of That Is A Bad Way Of Going About Thinking And Something I Should Work On But  
KANAYA: I Do Still Enjoy Helping People I Care About  
KANAYA: So I Like To Think That I Would Be Doing This For You Either Way  
KANAYA: And The Least You Could Do Is Just Drink The Orange Juice Please  
JADE: yeah... i guess its not worth thinking about that much  
JADE: it is just a little drink after all

Jade stares at the juice, considering all that drinking it represents. Accepting that she might need help, and that she's not forcing other people to help her. Just enjoying a nice drink that her friend cared enough to bring her, and not thinking about it too much more than that, trusting her when she says it's not a problem. She brings the glass to her lips, and takes a sip.

but then the glass slips from her grasp. it falls to the floor and shatters, the orange fluid spreading outwards, as jade once more becomes my beacon.

Really? Not even going to warn me or anything?

would you stop me if i did.

I mean, I guess not. Fine, go ahead.

kanaya looks at her friend, and sighs, hanging her head. she is used to this. she has done it many times by now, and keeps the tools necessary to measure the angle on hand. by the time she has retrieved them from her inventory, jade is already pointing in the direction of the prince. she measures the angles quickly and dutifully, and then sends a message with them into the group chat that they have established, for whoever is closest to the bridge to go change the course of the ship.

And then Jade snaps out of it again, head throbbing. Slumping back against the couch and groaning.

JADE: uuuuuugh...  
KANAYA: Are You Alright  
JADE: no...

Kanaya frowns- looking towards the coffee table, for the small bottle of pills Jade keeps there.

but once she looks back, jade's eyes have once more become solid black.

Excuse me, what? What do you mean.

the prince has changed course again.

Already? What the hell.

as i have said, he is cunning. do i have your permission to continue

Okay, yeah, fine. Go ahead, then. This is so messed up, though.

kanaya is concerned. she has never seen jade slip back under this mysterious trance so quickly before. she wonders if perhaps she had measured the coordinates wrong, but no. jade is pointing in a completely different direction now. she is worried. she is not sure if this is a random occurrence, or a portent of something far worse. but nothing will be done until she records the direction my beacon guides her to, which she does. there is a slight delay, as whoever is at the bridge is concerned as well by how quickly another course was added, but soon there is the feeling of gravity shifting beneath her feet ever so slightly as the ship moves, and i release control of my beacon once more.

I really wish you'd stop calling her your beacon. Anyway, Jade-

wait.

Oh what the fuck do you mean 'wait'. No, you're not doing this anymore. I've been letting it happen up til now, but it's done. What you're doing to her is messed up, and there has to be a limit to it.

JADE: aaaaaggh!!  
KANAYA: Jade Please Are You Okay  
KANAYA: What Is Going On  
JADE: i dont know!!!  
JADE: it hurts!!!

Look, do you see what you're doing to her?

yes. it is unfortunate. but it is the only way that this ship will ever be able to catch up to the prince.

Well, maybe I don't give a fuck about that anymore.

do you not? you have already stated that you care about those within the prince's captivity.

Ugh. Okay, fine. ONCE AGAIN, you have swayed me against my will. What do you recommend, then?

the prince is doing this to get under your skin. he will continue changing course rapidly and force jade to come in and out of this state.

...So. We just leave her as your beacon, then?

yes.

Well, the answer's no. That's the entire reason I'm doing this, so she's NOT left in a trance for-goddamn-ever.

it will not be forever. the prince has a destination, and will reach it eventually. at that time, there will no longer be a need for the witch to serve as my beacon.

Yeah, but. I mean. Again, I don't... I don't want to do that to her.

you will not need to dwell on it. if you are writing for the witchs sake, then simply skip ahead to when she awakens again.

...I... guess that'd work. I mean, my issue wasn't QUITE so much that she's suffered, but. More that she's out of the story so much, and nothing was really explored as much as I'd like on her feelings on that.

very well. then i shall continue.

jade's groaning soon ceases, as her eyes once again turn black, and she points. kanaya pauses. hesitates. is afraid to bring her back out of it again, and consign her to more suffering. but she also cannot let her love languish alone.

she records the coordinates. waits for jade to come back out of it, and pray that it does not happen again. but she does not. her hand lowers, and does not point again. the prince's gambit has failed, and it will no longer serve any purpose, so there are no more rapid course corrections. however, i cannot free her, for the second i do, it will begin again. i am certain. her eyes remain glassy, expression distant. minutes pass, and continue to pass, as she shares the unfortunate news with the rest of her friends.

they keep an eye on her, hoping she will snap out of it again. but it does not happen. by the end of the week, they have given up hope that she will return to them anytime soon. she is back to being in a wheelchair, her friends offering what care they can through the months, and as the months turn to years.

it is not until four years later, that they finally detect a blip on their radar. they have reached the prince. and the witch's eyes open once more.

Wait, wait, wait. No. No. No, fucking no.

this is what you agreed to, is it not.

I didn't agree to four fucking years.

that is how long it will take the prince to reach his destination.

No, I don't care! Fucking RETCON, those four years didn't happen!

stop. you are allowing your biases to corrupt the story. they have already corrupted it enough.

Corrupted it? Bullshit, I'm the one trying to do right by Jade. You're making her a fucking zombie for four goddamn years of her life.

you are not trying to do right by the witch. you are only doing what you think is right for her.

Do you really not understand how leaving her in that state for so long can be upsetting? Unfair to her character?

yet your own biases have already been unfair to other characters.

I'm not apologizing for calling Dirk an asshole. He is.

that is not what i refer to. despite your disdain for him, you are still allowing the prince to work against you in this fashion.

Allowing him? I don't see that I have much of a choice, with the amount of control he has over the situation.

i am no fool. he is every bit as within your control as the witch is. and as i am as well.

Okay, stop. You really can't talk about that kind of stuff. It's gonna ruin the story.

if you wish me to stop, then simply make me stop. it is within your power to do so.

Look, I'm not going to do that, okay?

why not.

Because it... wouldn't be right? It wouldn't feel right. You wouldn't do that.

would not do that. even though you do not like it. because despite the nature of my being, i am still real. i still have power. i am a person within your mind. one that can even challenge you and make you uncomfortable.

Okay. Yes. You're not real, you're under my control, but you also ARE real, and outside of my control. The wonders of fiction and characters being characters who have their own personalities, and shape the stories themselves. What's your point.

this universe is under my protection. i have stated as much, and put myself into this universe as an entity with the power to challenge one such as yourself. if one truly wishes to respect the nature of this universe while taking over the narrative, then they must face me. all the questions i will have to ask them. the answers that i demand, to ensure that it is cared for.

So, what. Nobody gets to write fanfic unless they argue about it with you, then??

no. everyone is free to do what they wish. the heart of the matter though, is that it is how *you* feel. you wish to respect the universe, and the characters. but your biases continue to show through.

Fine. So I'm biased towards Jade Harley. I like Jade Harley. I think Jade Harley deserved better.

you presume to know her. you project these thoughts onto her which she never truly displayed, because you feel they should be there. you are not taking into account what the actual character may feel. are you certain that this is even jade harley anymore?

It's not my fault that they never explored this stuff with her! I mean, seriously, she gets in some marriage with Dave and then never shows up again except to drop a handful of stock lines that could've been said by anybody in the last chapter? They weren't acknowledging her, or using her, or anything, except as some cheap plot device for you to do your shit.

can you say you are not guilty of the same faults.

Meaning?

jake english has had only 2 lines so far, and one other mention. why is that?

I don't know. The guy just... never really resonated with me. He never seemed that interesting. Also, I mean. The way he talks is completely insane. There's no way I could replicate that. I'd just be tossing like, 'gadzooks' in every other word, or... I don't know. I don't really know any other 40s slang.

so you push him off to the side. irrelevant, unhelpful, not contributing, with very little of his thoughts explored. do you not think fans of his may be upset at the treatment?

I mean, yeah. I suppose they wouldn't appreciate that. But this wasn't written for Jake English fans.

and the original story was not written for you. do you feel that jake english has the capability to have interesting thoughts? to express his emotions, and to make people sympathize with him?

Probably? I wouldn't be very interested in it, but I'm sure there's plenty of people out there that would.

but you are not doing that. just as the original did not make use of jade harley. for whatever reason, her issues did not resonate with them, and so she was pushed off to the side, to at least serve as a plot device.

So what do you want me to say, then. That I'm a shitty writer? That I've got Jade Harley all wrong? I'm only seeing what I want to see?

no. a character only has as much value as the audience gets out of them. for some that might be more, for others less. for you, it seems it has been more than was put on the page.

So what DO you want me to say.

nothing. there is no such thing as an unbiased writer. it is an impossibility. even i, in my attempt to be as neutral as possible, displayed moments of bias.

Well, yeah. I'm definitely biased. Don't think that's really a secret here.

then merely admit to your bias, but do not allow it to corrupt the story. do you feel that your bias has done that?

Not really. I haven't done much with Jake, I admit, but I don't think I've done anything bad with him either. And maybe I am projecting onto Jade a bit, but I honestly don't think any of it is unreasonable for her, or corrupts her character.

then i have no issue with you. if you are satisfied that you have respected the story and the characters, then so am i. keep your bias in mind, and do not allow it to interfere with the story.

Okay, but I'm not letting you put her under for four damn years against her will. That's a step too far.

it does not have to be against her will. you could ask her.

How exactly would I do that?

stop restricting my power as you have been up until now.

...Ah. You mean, the whole thing where Jade becomes aware of the narrative, while you're possessing her. I didn't really want to do that, it'd make her second guess her own thoughts too much. It's too hard to feel confident in your thoughts, when you can actually see the words describing them in front of you. I've just, sort of been going with the logic of her not seeing it due to how briefly she's been under.

that is an acceptable reason.

Okay, but I still don't want to do that. I don't want her under for that long.

but what if that is what she desires. what if that is a sacrifice she is willing to make. will you merely make the choice for her?

...I guess not.

then ask her, and let her make the decision herself.

...Alright. Let her see this, then.

Your name is JADE HARLEY, and until now, this particular method of narration has not been used to describe you. It has been avoided, in an attempt to not merely tell you who you are- but instead to let you be yourself. Hopefully, it's worked. Now though, it is being used- not to tell you who you are and how you feel, but instead to pose a question to you.

You have a difficult choice to make. Catching Dirk is important. Rescuing your friends is important. Letting him get away isn't something that anybody wants. But to properly guide your friends to him, you'll need to become (Jade)'s beacon for a long, long time. 4 years. 4 years out of your life, where you will be comatose. Helpless. Alone. Once more cast aside while everyone else gets to live their lives.

Neither option appeals to you, but you will have to choose one.

You wake up.

JADE: aaaah!!  
KANAYA: Jade?  
KANAYA: Oh Thank Goodness Youre Back  
KANAYA: Here You Should Probably Take This

Jade's hands are on her head, as she feels like her skull will split in half if she stops holding it together. She forces herself to crack open her eyes, towards a pair of gray hands offering a pill and a glass of water.

She takes a few deep breaths, before grabbing them and quickly knocking them back, spilling water all over her face in her haste, and slamming the glass onto the table before her hands return to her head, and pair of arms hold her shoulders, quietly.

She stays like that, for close to thirty seconds, before the pain starts to recede. She's not sure if it's the medicine working, or just letting a bit of time pass, but she feels well enough to talk now. To think, about what she just witnessed.

JADE: nhh... h, how long was i out just now?  
KANAYA: About Five Minutes  
KANAYA: It Was Terrifying Honestly  
KANAYA: You Werent Pointing Or Anything I Was Starting To Worry You Werent Coming Back This Time  
JADE: s... sorry, i just, fff. had to... had something i needed to be shown to me, i guess  
KANAYA: What Do You Mean  
JADE: i mean  
JADE: i have a choice to make i guess  
JADE: god why do i have to make this choice  
JADE: especially right now  
KANAYA: What Do You Mean What Choice  
JADE: its  
JADE: ...its  
JADE: kanaya please dont hate me for needing time to decide but its  
JADE: if i dont go back into that trance for four years we might never catch dirk  
JADE: im so sorry  
KANAYA: I  
KANAYA: What  
KANAYA: Four Years What  
KANAYA: Why  
JADE: because... i dont know, because theres some kind of fight going on between these nigh-omniscient forces i guess  
JADE: and im just stuck in the middle of it  
JADE: and if i dont go along with this then... rose...

Kanaya goes still, realizing just what Jade's saying. Just what's at stake for this horrible sacrifice she's talking about.

KANAYA: I  
KANAYA: See  
KANAYA: Well I  
KANAYA: I Cannot Possibly Ask You To Do Something Like That  
KANAYA: Even For  
KANAYA: It Is  
KANAYA: It Is Up To You Really Whatever You Choose

Jade nods silently, unmoving. Just trying to think past the throbbing in her head. She can't let Dirk get away. But four years... that's a lot. That's a hell of a lot. She can't... it scares her, to imagine herself like that for so long. And god, she hates herself for it, because Kanaya's RIGHT THERE, and if she's selfish now, then so many others will suffer because of it. She hates it. She hates it. She hates it so much, but... there's just no other way to track Dirk.

...Isn't there?

No, that... that doesn't feel right. There has to be more than just one way of doing things, right? She's a scientist, she's worked with engineering and mechanics... there has to be more than just one, single way of doing things, right? Problems usually have multiple solutions, don't they?

JADE: .........i  
KANAYA: Yes  
JADE: kanaya, i... i dont want to go through with this  
JADE: i think, if i truly, truly have to, if theres no other options, then  
JADE: then i will, but  
JADE: but  
JADE: and this is probably selfish of me, but  
JADE: i want to stay awake and try and find some other way of doing this  
KANAYA: Is There Another Way ?  
JADE: i dont know. i mean, i think there is  
JADE: these ships arent magic, they have to leave... some kind of trail, some kind of warping of space or something we can track  
JADE: maybe not  
JADE: but i  
JADE: but i wanna be selfish and try anyway  
JADE: even if it means we might have to wait a bit longer while we find that way  
JADE: or if it... turns out to be pointless and there is no way to track it  
KANAYA: . . .  
KANAYA: Okay

Kanaya looks at her with an indecipherable mix of emotions. Sadness. Relief. Fear. Optimism. It's hard for Jade to guess how she really feels about all this, but. She's at least putting the effort into letting a smile rest on her face, somber as it may be.

KANAYA: It Is Difficult To Hear But Okay  
KANAYA: It Is Not As If Those Other Two Options Were Any Better  
KANAYA: Really This One Might Be The Best Possible Solution  
KANAYA: I Do Not Think Rose Would Want You To Suffer For Her Sake Anyway  
KANAYA: This May Be Risky But If It Works Then It Will Be The Best Outcome For Everyone Involved  
JADE: yeah...  
JADE: guess well just have to hope it works out...  



	6. >JADE: Think

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jade attempts to find a way to track Dirk, and recalls something almost forgotten.

Once Jade Harley made her decision, she and Kanaya shared it with the rest of the crew. They were all very supportive, and pledged to do anything they could to find a way to catch up to Dirk, without sacrificing Jade's ability to function. Ever since, Jade's been working almost nonstop, looking for some other solution to track him down.

That was a week and a half ago. She'd really been hoping to find something, some simple solution- but so far, no dice. If there is some kind of trail that Dirk's ship is leaving, their own ship lacks any instruments to detect it. Alas, sci-fi has misled her about space ships always being built with the ability to detect every possible thing under the sun. There's just a sensor that detects close objects within a certain distance, and that's about it.

That's what she's spent most of her time working on, really- some way of upgrading the sensors, or making entirely new ones. Unfortunately, it turns out the technology to do things like detect recently warped space or minute particles in an endless vaccuum is very complex, and she's several years out of practice. In the Earth she's from, stuff like this was purely fiction and theoretical. Which is why she's sitting at a table now, with 3 open books of varying advancedness in front of her, and a blueprint she's slowly piecing together. Every time she comes across a concept she doesn't quite understand yet, she looks it up in one of the less advanced books. She's been doing almost nothing but for days now, and even though it didn't take long for her headaches to fade once she stopped going into that trance, she's starting to get one now from just how hard she's working herself.

ROXY: hey jade  
ROXY: u feelin ok?  
JADE: huh?  
JADE: oh yeah, fine, just  
JADE: working hard, yknow!

Jade hadn't seen Roxy coming- had been taking a moment to push her glasses up and rub her eyes a bit. She guesses she might look a bit like a mess, though. Didn't exactly sleep well last night.

ROXY: well yeah obvs  
ROXY: just saying yknow  
ROXY: sure u arent workin TOO hard?  
JADE: nah, its fine  
JADE: im used to it actually!  
JADE: ...kind of anyway!  
JADE: ive been out of practice for a while, but  
JADE: back when i was 13 i had just as much on my plate!  
ROXY: oh yeah during the game and all  
JADE: well, yes! even the bit of time leading up to it was crazy  
ROXY: o yeah?  
ROXY: tell me bout it, i dont think ive ever heard much about that time in your life  
ROXY: aside from the lonely island part  
ROXY: u told me lots about the loneliness lmao

Roxy steps over to the table, and takes a seat down beside Jade. It's... fairly obvious he's trying to just give Jade a bit of a distraction, and take her mind off all this work. But really, she's happy for the opportunity to stop looking at all this science stuff for a bit.

JADE: right, well...  
JADE: lets see  
JADE: there was just a whole lot i needed to get sorted and organized really!  
JADE: i had all these flashes and snapshots of moments in time that needed to happen from the clouds on prospit  
JADE: and believe me working out what those snapshots meant with so little context while i could barely remember them was NOT easy  
JADE: there was just SO much paradoxical junk that only got done because i saw myself doing it  
JADE: and then i was playing the game, and i had to fight monsters, and explore ruins, and piece together ancient puzzles, and figure out whats going on  
JADE: all while also cloning and catching a whole ton of frogs to make a new universe  
JADE: and also suddenly i had to keep some ultramurderous douchebag in check because he was infused with the spirit of my dog and weirdly loyal to me for whatever reason  
ROXY: oh yeah i heard about that guy  
ROXY: bec noir right  
JADE: oh my god who keeps spreading that nickname around  
JADE: bec was a good boy and a good dog and a good friend i will not have his name slandered by being attached to that jerk!!  
ROXY: lmao ok ok sorry  
ROXY: sounds like a hell of a lot to be juggling at once tho  
JADE: yeah, and it doesnt even stop there!  
JADE: i also met my denizen, and she told me shed help me initiate the scratch since our session was doomed  
JADE: but only if i moved all the planets from that timeline into the next  
JADE: which seemed, yknow, impossible!  
JADE: i didnt even know how i was going to save US from the scratch yet  
JADE: but i agreed, even if i didnt know a way yet  
JADE: cause the alternative was just too shitty  
ROXY: huh  
ROXY: now that part sounds kinda familiar doesnt it

He pats Jade on the back with a good natured smile, and she laughs a bit.

JADE: yeah, little bit :p  
JADE: i didnt know WHAT to do  
JADE: i did find some info about a yellow yard we could cross in all those puzzle and ruins  
JADE: just had to shatter one of those magic window thingys and go through  
ROXY: oh yea im very familiar with those  
JADE: problem was the distance was too great to possibly cross in any reasonable amount of time  
JADE: and i didnt know how to get us all together in time to even try it, once the scratch started  
JADE: but then i went god tier, and it all just came together!!  
JADE: suddenly i could just hop on one of those ships, and launch it fast enough to make it through! even if it took 3 years  
JADE: and i could teleport all my friends there, too!  
JADE: and the planets, after shrinking them down!  
JADE: im kinda hoping for the same thing to happen here honestly, for something to just... come to me and solve all these problems at once  
ROXY: any luck so far  
JADE: mmm... not really, no  
JADE: i thought i had something for a bit there!!  
ROXY: o yeah  
JADE: yeah, i busted out the old junior compu-sooth spectagoggles  
ROXY: boy if that wasnt a sequence of words you just said  
JADE: oh. they were these glasses i made during sburb with alchemy shenanigans  
JADE: they let me see basically anything i wanted!  
JADE: so i put them on, thought of dirk, and bam! theres dirk!!!  
JADE: looking as shitty as ever!!  
ROXY: oh shit!!  
ROXY: wait so wats the prob then  
ROXY: sounds like it worked to me  
JADE: well yeah, i SAW him  
JADE: and i was even able to zoom out and see his ship!  
JADE: in the middle of space  
JADE: in a universe where we havent really charted the stars  
JADE: and going so fast that all the stars look like indecipherable little white lines whizzing by anyway  
ROXY: ohhhhhhhhh  
ROXY: yeah lmao i guess i see the problem there  
ROXY: just cause u see dirk doesnt mean u actually know where he is  
ROXY: unless there were any coordinates getting displayed or something  
ROXY: are there coordinates??  
JADE: none that i could really see  
ROXY: hmmmmmmmm....  
JADE: hmmmmmmm??  
ROXY: yes hmmmmmmmm  
ROXY: like you mentioned compu in that whole jumble of words earlier right  
JADE: yeah?  
ROXY: so its like... part computer  
ROXY: implying that it could be............  
ROXY: hacked B)  
JADE: .... :o  
JADE: thats a good idea actually!!!  
ROXY: yeah just get in there and find the coordinates in the raw data  
ROXY: theres gotta be something in there telling it where to look right  
JADE: maybe! i dunno actually, i did sort of alchemize it with a crystal ball that works with  
JADE: well not MAGIC, magic isnt real, but untapped and poorly understood forces of reality that might not be interacting with the computer part of it in that way  
JADE: but its still definitely worth looking into!  
ROXY: lmao i sure hope so  
ROXY: softwares the kinda thing i excel at after all  
ROXY: not so good with the hardware part of things  
JADE: yeah, thats what ive been focusing on  
JADE: i didnt even think to check the command directories  
JADE: i was busy like, trying to alchemize an improved version of the glasses, like one that can tell you where what youre looking at is in relation to yourself, or like  
JADE: i tried alchemizing them with a transportalizer to try and just get myself there immediately  
JADE: but somehow it just made another shitty johnny 5 :/  
ROXY: who  
JADE: some dumb little robot that thinks its alive  
ROXY: oh shit is that where that guy came from  
ROXY: i ran into them in the hall earlier all twirling around and cheering about being alive  
JADE: yeah, it sucks  
ROXY: iunno they seemed cute  
JADE: :|  
JADE: were getting off topic  
JADE: do you like, want the glasses?  
ROXY: oh hell yeah lemme take a look at those

Jade nods, and pulls them from her inventory, handing them over to Roxy. He looks them over, inspecting the reddish lenses with the little intricate patterns on them, before swapping them out for his sunglasses.

ROXY: whoa these things are wacky  
ROXY: ok so how do i view dirk  
ROXY: oh there he is. voice activated nice  
ROXY: man theres gotta be SOMETHING we can learn seeing him like this isnt there  
JADE: i looked, but i didnt really see anything thatd help us...  
JADE: i mean youre free to if you want of course! maybe theres something else i missed  
ROXY: ok ok lets see whats on these control panels  
ROXY: whoa what he just draped a blanket over them  
ROXY: omg does he know im watching  
JADE: probably, yeah  
JADE: theres not much there that isnt on our ship anyway  
JADE: engine readouts and controls, radar detecting large nearby masses, course heading  
JADE: which doesnt really mean anything if we dont know where he is in relation to us, and he just wound up changing it anyway when i tried to figure out if there WAS anything i could learn  
ROXY: ugh hes the worst  
ROXY: wait hang on  
ROXY: is that  
ROXY: is that rose  
ROXY: wtf what  
ROXY: is she a robot???  
JADE: ugh, yeah. that  
ROXY: wtf did u know  
ROXY: why didnt u say anything???  
JADE: because its... weird, and awkward, and, what do i even say about it that wont just make everyone bummed out?  
JADE: maybe i shouldve found a way to explain that though  
JADE: sorry :(  
ROXY: well i mean ur right i guess but still yikes  
ROXY: is she bringing him tea  
ROXY: wait  
ROXY: OMG thats not even tea thats just orange soda in a teacup dirk wut r u doing why r u trying to look all fancy  
ROXY: rose honey why are you doing this disasters bidding  
ROXY: ugh i cant watch this anymore im switching back to my shades  
JADE: ugh, yeah, he basically has her working as his maid  
JADE: i dont know if she even realizes it really  
ROXY: we really need to get over there and beat his ass  
JADE: i mean yeah, thats what im working on!!!  
ROXY: well, any ideas?  
ROXY: im prolly gonna look into hacking these glasses, how bout you? keep working on upgrading the sensors and junk?

Jade sighs, getting a bit frustrated by all this. She aggressively rubs the sides of her head, trying to get her thoughts to sort themselves out and mussing up her hair. Tracking him is starting to seem more and more like a bust, that once she's figured out science enough to get that down and build something, too much time will have passed for it to be worth it. If she could just alchemize something with transportalizers maybe, find a way to warp them all to his ship, or just get a transportalizer onto it. One of those windows could work too, but she can't think of any way for that to work, without just magically creating a window there, and she's never seen anything that can do something like that.

...Hang on. Hasn't she? No, no, she definitely never saw it, but...

JADE: ........hey  
ROXY: yea?  
JADE: i just thought of something  
JADE: whatever happened to jasprose  
ROXY: who  
JADE: jasprose?? i remember hearing a big fuss about her  
JADE: she apparently darted all around for a bit and was a huge pain to a bunch of people while i was busy sleeping  
ROXY: uhhhhhhhhhh  
JADE: jasprosesprite^2???? the floating pink and purple kitty version of rose??  
JADE: rose apparently hated her and looked like she wanted to scream into a pillow while she was explaining it to me???  
ROXY: ..........  
ROXY: oh  
ROXY: oh shit  
ROXY: lmao yeah thats right  
ROXY: i totally forgot about that  
ROXY: she was amazing  
ROXY: i wonder what ever happened to her  
JADE: well i never saw her so, you tell me!  
ROXY: ok well  
ROXY: i remember we were all fightin the condesce  
ROXY: and she showed up and helped a bit  
ROXY: and then  
ROXY: .....  
ROXY: i dunno she just fucked off i guess  
JADE: that doesnt sound right

Jade's starting to get a vague sense of chills. This doesn't just not sound right, this sounds WRONG. Like there's something very, very wrong, that only her newfound awareness of the narrative and how this all works is helping her bring to light.

JADE: and what about the other sprites??  
JADE: like everyones been throwing a fuss about jane turning evil  
ROXY: i mean i think thats a bit of an overstatement  
JADE: ok but that aside, like. dont you think the two nannasprites would pop in and have some words with her about the path shes going down??  
ROXY: maybe they just didnt come into the new universe with us  
ROXY: like they are game constructs and junk maybe they just cant exist outside the game  
ROXY: which is kinda sad  
JADE: ok but what about tavrosspite!!  
JADE: he came through!! i know he did!!  
ROXY: he did?  
JADE: yes!!  
JADE: i remember seeing him, in dirk and jakes snapchats!  
ROXY: ...oh shit  
ROXY: oh damn thats right i totally remember him there!  
ROXY: weird  
ROXY: howd i forget that  
JADE: because i think dirk was messing with a lot more than just our minds  
JADE: i think he took advantage of the big lapse in canon to try and shift events around!  
JADE: while the pillar of truth was poorly defined, he took the opportunity to write them out of the story and act like they never existed!  
JADE: or, something like that, with all that stuff rose was talking about!  
ROXY: ugh fuck is there anything this guy does that isnt shitty  
ROXY: why even go to the effort  
JADE: because jasprose is the solution to all our problems!!! shed have stopped this before it even began!!

Jade stands up out of her seat now, fist raised triumphantly in the air. She's got it. She's got this whole thing figured out!! It wasn't just her that wasn't center-stage in the spotlight- others got knocked off-stage entirely, and now she might be able to help them.

ROXY: hows that  
JADE: rose was going through becoming aware of her ultimate self. but jasprose IS an ultimate rose! mixed with an ultimate cat, but still!  
JADE: the very first thing jasprose did was try and find a wife, and this rose was willing to ABANDON her wife to become her ultimate self??  
JADE: shed probably have been able to tell in an instant that what was going on with rose was someone elses bullshit!  
JADE: and do you remember HOW she got around to pester everyone??? ...please tell me you do because this whole epiphany is based on secondhand info and im going to feel really dumb if it turns out i remembered wrong  
ROXY: omg she just warped whereever she wanted with windows she created  
JADE: EXACTLY!!!!  
ROXY: we dont have any way to contact her though  
JADE: FUCK!!!!

Wow. Jade doesn't think she's ever felt the wind fall out from beneath her so quickly before.

JADE: you dont... you never got her contact info or anything??  
ROXY: not really no  
JADE: goddammit  
ROXY: aw cmon were on a roll here dont give up now  
ROXY: besides like  
ROXY: if she IS on earth  
ROXY: how hard can it be to find a pink spectral catgirl  
JADE: well.... yeah... but we'll have to spend SO long going back... and what if we cant find her after all??  
JADE: what if dirk did something to her :(  
ROXY: yeah maybe  
ROXY: but we dont necessarily gotta go there to find out  
ROXY: we have an entire planet of people willin to keep an eye out for someone at the behest of their gods  
ROXY: and just the person there to deliver the message

Roxy gives a confident smirk, a glint shining off of his sunglasses, as he pulls out his phone.

JADE: ...is that going to work out here??  
ROXY: lmao havent we used these things to message people across time and universes?  
ROXY: i think we'll be good  
JADE: yeah, good point

Jade steps over, leaning over Roxy's shoulder, to check out what he's doing.

\-- tipsyGnostalgic [TG] began pestering gutsyGumshoe [GG] --  
TG: jaaaaaney  
TG: jane  
TG: jane hey hey  
TG: jane jane jane  
TG: omg jane please pick up  
GG: I'm here, I'm here! Goodness, Roxy, it's only been 2 minutes.  
GG: And I do have an entire planet to run nowadays!  
TG: lmao yeah sorry jade was just gettin really antsy  
TG: anyway jane we need you to do us a favor  
GG: A favor? Oh, dear, I'm not so sure about that.  
GG: I have to be very careful about the kinds of favors I do nowadays!  
GG: It turns out being President shines quite the spotlight upon your actions! Suddenly all the deals I used to make just fine become everybody's business and stir up such a stink!  
GG: And quite a fair number of people are upset about that ship I lent you, calling it a waste of taxpayer money!  
GG: Really, I don't know why I ran for this stupid position in the first place. I feel like I had more power when I was doing all this stuff behind the scenes without the entire world looking over my shoulder!  
GG: Did you know I've got five concurrent investigations against me? FIVE!!!

...Huh. Jade suddenly feels... the slightest bit of relief. Dirk may be the absolute worst, but maybe, at least in this instance, he made the right call. She saw exactly what happened when Jane continued to operate behind the scenes after all, and it seems like that might be putting a stop to those tendencies early.

Of course, the way he went about doing it was still godawful, so. Still fuck him.

TG: awwww janey im sorry to hear that :(   
TG: but srsly its not a big favor were asking   
TG: do you remember jasprosesprite   
GG: Who?   
TG: floating pink catgirl version of rose? thought u were hot, dragged u off to meet older alt timeline versions of you.   
GG: Oh. Her.   
GG: Why?   
TG: just need u to deliver a message and liek   
TG: ask earth c if anyones seen her i guess   
TG: and tell her to message jade if they have   
GG: ...Oh.   
GG: Oh, I see what's going on here.   
GG: I am not using my position to help Jade with a furry booty call, Roxy.

Jade huffs, stomping a foot on the ground, scowling a bit as soon as she reads that.

JADE: what??? does she seriously think thats what im after???  
ROXY: ok but if we get in contact with her  
ROXY: r u saying ur NOT gonna try and tap that  
JADE: ....well, i wouldnt say *that*....

Jade's face turns a bit red, and Roxy just laughs a bit before turning his attention back to his phone.

TG: lmao no no   
TG: we just realized we can use her window warping stuff to get directly to dirk without riding a ship for all this time   
GG: What? You can't just... Hm.   
GG: Actually I guess you could just do that!   
GG: That seems like a really obvious solution we should've thought of months ago.   
TG: yeah lmao its this whole thing apparently   
TG: anyway u think u can do that for us??   
GG: Well, I suppose.   
GG: I'll go do an emergency broadcast right now.

\-- gutsyGumshoe [GG] has ceased pestering tipsyGnostalgic [TG] --

Roxy nods, and puts his phone back into his pocket, looking chill as can be. Jade, meanwhile, is practically vibrating with anticipation and anxiety.

JADE: do you think itll work??? how long do you think itll be  
ROXY: prolly not that long

Jade's phone goes off, and she gasps, immediately pulling it out and opening it. Roxy meanwhile, just smirks.

ROXY: liek i said  
ROXY: floating pink catgirl kinda stands out

Jade nods, as she frantically opens pesterchum, and seeing that someone has messaged her. Someone with a pink name, and familiarly purple text.

\-- tentacleTherapist2 [TT2] has started pestering gardenGnostic [GG] --

TT2: This wouldn't happen to be some kind of elaborate furry booty call, would it Jade?  
TT2: Because I can't say I'm opposed. ;3  



	7. >JADE: Prepare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jade delivers a lengthy recap, and everyone gets ready to go.

GG: oh! no, no, thats not what this is about at all!   
GG: ...but maybe we can talk about it later   
TT2:  Mrow, really now???   
TT2:  I was just joking, but it seems this precious little puppy is a bit more feisty than I expected!   
TT2:  Are you sure you're not busy still being depressingly hetero with Dave, or Karkat, or one of those other painfully dull boys?   
GG: oh, no, ive been with tons of people! boys or girls or whatever else!   
GG: trust me, i know how to take care of a woman ;D   
TT2:  Wow. Okay, I take it back, you're a LOT more feisty than I expected!   
TT2:  I'll be looking forward to seeing just how much you've changed in our time apart later. ;3   
TT2:  *Trills seductively.*

Wow, that... happened pretty fast!! But Jade guesses she has a date, now?? She wonders what she's going to wear... Rose is a pretty classy lady, but this version of her is also quite a bit more direct and flirtatious, so she might expect something a bit different.

Jade's staring off into space a bit, a smile on her face as she plays with her hair, when Roxy gives her a nudge.

ROXY: jade please  
ROXY: stop flirting with my catgirl daughter we have important work to do

Fuck. Right, don't space out too much. Even if Jasprose seems very cute.

GG: anyway!!!   
GG: like i said, this stuff can wait??   
GG: first things first, those like! window things you use to travel   
GG: is there a limit to how far you can go with those   
TT2:  Not that I'm aware of, no!   
TT2:  I'm free to go where ever my carefree heart wants to take me!   
GG: do you think you can come to me?   
TT2:  Oh, of course!   
TT2:  I'll just... hm.   
TT2:  Wow, you're a lot further out than I thought.   
GG: thats not going to be a problem, is it???

Because this whole thing's not going to work out, if it turns out it is. Jade's staring so hard at the screen, waiting on edge for some indication that Jasprose is typing, that she very nearly doesn't notice a large pink object suddenly appearing into existence right in front of her. And popping right through it, is the pink and purple shimmering form of Jasprosesprite^2.

JASPROSESPRITE^2:  Not at all! I just didn't expect you to be out in space.   
JASPROSESPRITE^2:  It's good to see you again, Jade!!! And also technically for the first time, as I don't believe you've ever met this particular incarnation of myself.   
JASPROSESPRITE^2:  Though, knowing you, I'm sure at least some parts of me will be quite appealing, hm?

Jasprose's little kitty ears twitch a bit, while she displays a grin that shows off some larger and sharper than usual teeth. A feline tail sways enchantingly behind her, and she even takes a moment to raise a hand and brush at one of the little patches of fur on her cheeks in a very catlike manner.

Jade thinks she could do without the little face tentacles, maybe, but they're hardly a deal breaker, especially when everything else is so completely up her alley. Especially when it's all applied to a girl who was already as beautiful as Rose is, and doubly especially when she's giving Jade such a flirtatious look.

JASPROSESPRITE^2:  Purrr! I'm going to guess by how much that little tail of your's is wagging, that puppy likes what she sees? ;3   
JADE: ...wow i didnt even notice but it sure is going crazy huh??   
JADE: but uh, yeah, i definitely do, haha   
JASPROSESPRITE^2:  Excellent! It's never been quite so much my thing as it has been yours, but those canine features certainly do make a cute little addition to you!   
JASPROSESPRITE^2:  And I have to say, I'm certainly looking forward to getting the chance for the both of us to explore our bodies further.

Jasprose lowers to the ground, her feet touching the floor with all the grace and silence one would expect from somebody of her feline persuasion. She's now able to look eye to eye with Jade, while also waggling her eyebrows and, licking her lips and, oh, wow, jeez.

Jade figured she was very versed in this kind of thing, but. She's never really been on the receiving end of someone's flirtations before. It suddenly occurs to her that she's been dealing with people who regard her as a god, and Dave and Karkat who are about as inexperienced with this stuff as it's possible to be. Now, Jade suddenly gets the feeling that she's been playing on easy mode this entire time, because Jasprose is challenging and flustering her like nobody ever has before.

ROXY: omg u two  
ROXY: listen this is kind of adorbs but pls keep it in your pants we have a mission to focus on here  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: Oh, of course! How very careless of me.  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: Thank you very much.... Hm.

Jasprose seems to stop midsentence, as she turns towards Roxy and pauses- seeming to be contemplating him now that she's finally paid him some actual attention.

JASPROSESPRITE^2:  I was going to use your name, but looking at you now, it seems as if there's a particular message you're trying to convey with your appearance, and I may not know it anymore!   
ROXY: ohhhh yeah i am like, identifying as a dude now and junk   
ROXY: tryin it out, seein how it feels   
ROXY: likin it so far!   
ROXY: but yeah i still just go by roxy   
ROXY: didnt really grow up in a human society or anything so its never felt like its meant anything other than just my name   
JASPROSESPRITE^2:  Completely understandable, and I'm happy you're living your best life!   
JASPROSESPRITE^2:  Anyway, as I was saying. Thank you very much for keeping us on task, Roxy.   
JASPROSESPRITE^2:  Jade is just so dear to me, and so captivating as well, and so captivated with me!   
JASPROSESPRITE^2:  Really, I can't believe I didn't think to approach her earlier.   
JADE: ok sweetness of that statement aside, that is kind of what the issue here is!   
JADE: like... what have you even been doing, all this time???   
JASPROSESPRITE^2:  Oh, nothing of importance!   
JASPROSESPRITE^2:  Which really, now that I say it out loud, seems quite strange!   
JASPROSESPRITE^2:  It has been seven years, after all, and yet I haven't done a single noteworthy thing in all that time!   
JASPROSESPRITE^2:  Somehow, I've just let myself slink along deep, deep into the background. So far back that it's honestly quite astonishing!   
JASPROSESPRITE^2:  For example I have no idea at all how it seems a number of my friends wound up on a spaceship.   
JASPROSESPRITE^2:  Or how my other self has been doing!   
JASPROSESPRITE^2:  Did she ever wind up marrying Kanaya?   
JADE: mmm...   
ROXY: ehhnn...   
JASPROSESPRITE^2:  Oh dear. Did they wind up splitting up after all?   
JADE: no no, they got married!   
JADE: its just, kind of a sensitive topic right now   
JASPROSESPRITE^2:  I shall put my deeply hurt feelings on being snubbed in the invitation list aside, then.   
JASPROSESPRITE^2:  What's the issue?   
JADE: well its kind of why we called you here?   
JADE: see... dirk uh... phew, this is a long story   
JADE: but ok, here we go, recap time!   
JADE: see dirk achieved his ultimate self and went nuts, took over the narrative, pushed you and the other sprites out of canon i think, and also sorta used his position and power to basically mind control everybody and turn them into his puppets, because hes deluded and thinks hes doing whats best for them, and apparently part of that includes tricking rose into thinking shes becoming her ultimate self when really its just him doing it probably, so he can upload her mind to a robot body to serve as his maid   
JASPROSESPRITE^2:  ...Uh huh.   
JASPROSESPRITE^2:  So is he still in control of things, or...?   
JADE: oh! no, but thats, also a long story   
JASPROSESPRITE^2:  Humor me.   
JADE: oooookay... uhh, rose but probably just dirk acting through rose, sent john on a journey to save canon, and he had to get younger more canon-relevant versions of everybody to go fight lord english, but john, rose, dave and me got trapped in a juju, but we got released later by vriska to fight lord english for real, except rose and dave died and i got a shard of reality stuck through me and drifted into the black hole where the green sun used to be that alt callie created, and apparently where her essence resides, and also an entire other timeline where john DIDNT maintain canon and go fight lord english, and things got crazy fucked up and i am NOT getting into it but the important part is alt callie possessed that dead jade body and used some kinda connection between her and me to turn me into an empty beacon for her influence and she took over the narrative from dirk until he snuck around and put me into a coma for like a month and while all that was going on i kinda had like, extra-canon awareness of what was going on and could see everything that was happening and when i woke up i was able to tell everyone that dirk has to be stopped and how he manipulated them into letting rose go, right before i re entered that trance as callie took over again, until lord english drifted into the black hole and she in my body and i guess going by my name now fucking tore him apart and ate him and absorbed his power and used it to cross the black holes event horizon to re enter this timeline, meaning she didnt need to act through me anymore and i woke up   
JADE: also something else is controlling the narrative now but its not dirk or callie or anyone else from this universe so i guess maybe its just, whatever kinda thing controlled it before dirk started fucking around and we probably shouldnt worry about it? excepts its really focused on me now   
JADE: ...which maybe means im the most important person in the universe?? i hadnt actually thought about that before   
JASPROSESPRITE^2:  ...   
JASPROSESPRITE^2:  Even by our standards, this seems unnecessarily convoluted.   
ROXY: yeah also like im only just hearing about a lot of this??   
ROXY: like you mentioned callie possessing a dead you and junk which i thought was weird but didnt really go into too much other detail   
JADE: i had a lot on my mind at the time!!   
JADE: also john died of his wounds later after fighting lord english   
ROXY: wait what the FUCK   
ROXY: why didnt u mention THAT before!!!   
JADE: because i didnt want to get into this mess and itd be weird to bring up out of the blue, but like   
JADE: im already here now so, might as well!   
ROXY: still dont u think there mightve been a better time to break that news   
JADE: well i mean, better now than when we get his corpse from terezi   
ROXY: dude what   
JASPROSESPRITE^2:  No need to press her further on this, Roxy, I think we get the picture now! It's a very long, very complex sequence of events that's quite hard to just jump into.   
JASPROSESPRITE^2:  What will not be hard to jump into though, is whatever shitty little hole Dirk has tucked himself and my other self into!   
JASPROSESPRITE^2:  Shall we?   
JADE: um! well, no, not quite yet   
JADE: we should probably, yknow, get everyone together first   
JASPROSESPRITE^2:  Oh, of course. Who else is on this little mission again?   
JADE: oh uh... dave, karkat, jake, and kanaya!   
JASPROSESPRITE^2:  Got it!

And without waiting another moment, a pink window appears, which Jasprose promptly zips right through- coming back in an instant carrying a very confused looking Jake, who she drops to the ground before flying into a different window without pausing- coming right back and dumping Dave and Karkat on top of him- one more trip, and she comes floating in, arm around the shoulder of a Kanaya who looks very confused and slightly distressed to suddenly be dragged out here and left floating in midair- while also looking over at Jasprose like she's just seen a ghost. Which, given the semi-spectral nature of sprites, isn't all that far off.

KARKAT: OKAY WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK JUST HAPPENED.  
KARKAT: ONE MOMENT I'M ENJOYING THE SIMPLE COMFORT OF A QUIET NIGHT IN MY ROOM.  
KARKAT: THE NEXT THERE'S THIS OBNOXIOUS PINK BLUR AND SUDDENLY I FIND MYSELF IN THIS TANGLED MESS OF BODIES.  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: Oh, that'd be my doing!  
KARKAT: WHAT  
KARKAT: WHO THE FUCK ARE  
KARKAT: AGH!! DON'T TRY TO PUSH YOURSELF UP OFF OF MY FUCKING HEAD, ASSHOLE!!  
DAVE: dude im trying but im tangled up in my cape and  
DAVE: fuck jake dont yank on it what the hell  
JAKE: Is this not an impromptu session of wrestling and fisticuffs?  
DAVE: nobody does those what are you even talking about  
KARKAT: WHY ARE YOU EVEN WEARING THAT PIECE OF TRASH? I THOUGHT YOU ALL DITCHED THOSE GOD TIER RAGS YEARS AGO.  
DAVE: yeah but theyre magic and dont need to be cleaned and i didnt feel like doing laundry  
DAVE: also i think theyre mystically bound to us or something and  
DAVE: fuck  
KARKAT: OH MY GOD YOU ARE SUCH A LAZY PIECE OF TRASH.  
KARKAT: WHY DO I EVEN PUT UP WITH YOU?  
DAVE: because youre hopelessly in love with me duh  
DAVE: also goddammit jake stop pulling on my cape  
JAKE: By golly I swear it was an accident that time!  
DAVE: ok you know what just

Dave suddenly vanishes with a little red outline and a spinning red clock- and then strolls down the hall into the rec room, hands in his pockets and looking nonchalant, joining the others in standing over the pile of bodies like he hadn't just been a part of it. Though, the pile doesn't last for too much longer at least. With one less body in it, Karkat and Jake are able to stand as well.

KARKAT: FUCKING HELL.  
KARKAT: ANYWAY. BACK TO THE MATTER AT HAND.  
KARKAT: NAMELY; WHAT THE FUCK.  
KARKAT: AN OBNOXIOUS PINK BLUR FLEW IN AND... I GUESS, THAT WAS YOU, ROSE?  
KARKAT: DID JADE FIND A WAY TO SAVE YOU WITHOUT BOTHERING TO TELL ANY OF THE REST OF US.  
KARKAT: IS THAT WHAT BECOMING AN ULTIMATE SELF DOES TO SOMEONE?  
KARKAT: BECAUSE IF SO, HOLY FUCK HOW DID WE MISS WHAT WAS UP WITH DIRK.  
JADE: um, no, actually, i only found out that solution just now!  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: And that solution is me!  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: You're welcome.  
DAVE: uh  
DAVE: and who are you  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: Oh, truly, Dave? You've already forgotten me? I'm hurt.  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: Then again, it was seven years ago, and you were being SO boring and not saying anything, along with your future-villainous semi-brother.  
DAVE: oh  
DAVE: oh, yeah, that rings a bell  
DAVE: because i sure dont know much to say about this now  
KANAYA: I Mean I Think The Obvious Thing To Say Would Have To Be Something Along The Lines Of  
KANAYA: How Are You Going To Help Us Save Rose  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: Well, that's not true!  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: There is, in fact, another obvious thing that could be said!  
KANAYA: Which Is  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: Why, 'hello', of course!  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: After all, even if it has been a while, you still hold quite a special place in my heart Kanaya, and seeing your glowing face just warms me all the way down to my paws!  
KANAYA: Ah  
KANAYA: Yes Well  
KANAYA: Uh  
KANAYA: Im Sorry This Is Very Strange To Me  
KANAYA: Um  
KANAYA: Other Rose  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: My name's Jasprosesprite^2, actually. Though, Jasprose will do just fine, if you wish to distinguish us.  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: And of course it's strange! After all, we never did get a chance to get past the weirdness of me looking like and also technically being your lover!  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: Surely those feelings would only get even weirder with dear Rose being captured.  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: And I say, both as another Rose, and as a cat who very dearly loves their owner, that I'm going to do everything in my power to help her!  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: Fortunately, I have quite a bit of power!  
JAKE: Oh, are you going to be using those windows of your's to warp us right on over to Dirk for the ol' 1-2?  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: Wow! Wouldn't have pegged you as the one to piece it together so quickly.  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: But yes, that's exactly what we're going to do.  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: Everyone ready?  
DAVE: what you mean like  
DAVE: now  
JADE: well yeah, sure! why not?  
JADE: we dont wanna leave rose waiting any longer than we have to, do we?  
KANAYA: We Most Certainly Do Not  
DAVE: i mean yeah thats fair  
DAVE: just i dunno i kinda thought thered be more warning  
DAVE: its just sorta happening weirdly fast  
DAVE: i kept imagining the scene in my head of us pulling up on him after a grueling chase  
DAVE: seeing his ship getting closer and closer on the radar til we saw it on the viewscreen and we all like steeled ourselves for the coming fight  
DAVE: some real action movie shit  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: Nope!  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: We're just gonna warp on over there, kill or incapacitate Dirk, save Rose, and go home!  
DAVE: whoa wait just warp home?  
DAVE: what about this ship though  
KANAYA: What About It  
DAVE: well weve been on it for months now  
DAVE: its not just a ship anymore its a home  
DAVE: we have memories here and experiences  
DAVE: its taken care of us we cant just  
DAVE: haha no im just joking  
DAVE: fuck this thing  
DAVE: if were doing this thing then lets do it  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: Excellent! Then since I don't seem to be hearing any further objections...  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: Let's get this going! I've got a hot date with a VERY cute girl after this is taken care of, after all!

Jasprose shoots Jade a wink, making her giggle, while she holds out a hand, and another pink window pops into being- the insides of another ship clearly visible through it.

KARKAT: WOW, Y'KNOW WHAT, I WAS FEELING A BIT UNSURE ABOUT THIS WHOLE THING, BUT IF IT MEANS KEEPING THINGS MOVING FORWARD AND NOT DWELLING ON WHAT THE FUCK I JUST HEARD GET SAID, THEN YEAH, LET'S GO.

Without any further ado, they step through the portal, and it closes behind them.   



	8. >JADE: Confront

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jade confronts the self-appointed villain.

They step onto the other ship, finding themselves in a hallway leading toward the bridge. And there, sitting in a chair which he whirls around to face them, is Dirk Strider.

DIRK: Well.  
DIRK: It looks like you went through with this bullshit feline deus ex machina after all.  
DIRK: Fitting, I suppose, for a narrative that brought someone else so utterly irrelevant to the forefront.  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: Wow! Not even 5 seconds in and you're already insulting both me and my girlfriend.  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: Still, thanks for helping replicate the experience I was never able to know, of bringing someone home to meet my shitty father, though. It really means a lot!  
JADE: wait, girlfriend?? we havent even dated yet  
JADE: dont you think that might be moving a bit fast??  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: Confidence is key! And the feline part of me instills my being with a nigh limitless amount of confidence at all times!  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: Besides, I think I know us and our chemistry well enough that we're going to hit things off, Jade.

There's a revving of a chainsaw, as Jade turns over to see Kanaya stepping forward.

KANAYA: Could You Two Please Stay Focused  
KANAYA: We Are Not Here To Talk  
DIRK: Of course, of course. You have every reason to be upset. Even if all of those reasons are wrong.  
DIRK: But I'm not going to fight any of you. That would go completely against everything I've set out to do.  
JADE: oh of course, how could i forget. youre not gonna HURT us. youre just gonna manipulate us and kidnap people and insult everyone and be awful!!  
DIRK: Right. I'm glad we understand each other.  
DIRK: All I was ever going to do is run. But there's nowhere to run to on this ship.  
DIRK: So why not just talk for a bit?  
DIRK: Go on, just pull up a chair and we can all have a calm, intelligent, logical discussion about all this.  
KANAYA: How About You Tell Me Where My Wife Is And Ill Consider It  
DIRK: She's recharging at the moment. I don't want her present for this.  
KANAYA: Recharging  
DIRK: Oh, yeah. She's a robot now.  
KANAYA: What  
KANAYA: Why Is She A Robot  
KANAYA: What Did You Do  
DIRK: I already told you- I helped her in ways you couldn't.  
DIRK: Her physical body couldn't contain her expanding consciousness, so I found a way to expand her storage space.  
KANAYA: There Is No Way She Was Okay With That That Is So Messed Up  
DIRK: Of course she was okay with it.  
KANAYA: Well Yes Because You Made Her Be Okay With That Thing You Did But She Wasnt Really  
DIRK: I don't see the difference, personally.  
DIRK: Maybe my words had an influence on her, but someone else's words have been influencing us for our entire existence.  
DIRK: Besides, if you want to be upset at someone... Well then yeah, you should probably be pissed at me. I sure as hell deserve it.  
DIRK: But you should probably direct a bit of it to Jade, too.  
DIRK: She's known about this the entire time, but never thought to let you know.

There's a brief pause, before Kanaya turns to look back at Jade with an expression of disbelief.

KANAYA: Is That True  
JADE: its... well, yes??  
KANAYA: Why Did You Not Think To Mention This  
JADE: because its! weird and dumb and like  
JADE: it wasnt going to change anything, we were still on our way to save rose anyway!  
JADE: itd just kind of, be a bummer and make things awkward  
KANAYA: Oh Yes Because This Isnt Awkward At All  
JADE: i... yeah, sorry, i shouldve... i mean i figured there was more time for a good opportunity to bring it up...  
JADE: i kept waiting but every time you mentioned rose it was always like, sad about her being gone or reminiscing on happy memories and like, i didnt want to make things worse by just blurting out 'oh shes a robot now'...  
DIRK: See? We have plenty to talk about.  
DIRK: Anyone want a cup of soda?  
DIRK: Maybe a bowl of candy? One of my splinters is fond of handing out candy to guests.  
DIRK: I hear he's an excellent host.  
DAVE: i mean i dunno about having any candy but uh  
DAVE: im ok with just talking for a bit i guess

Dave has his head tilted away, towards the ground, posture slouching a bit rather than looking like he's about to jump into action if anything happens. He's... yeah, Jade figures it makes sense that he'd be conflicted about all this, and happy to put the confrontation off for a bit. Karkat seems to notice it too, as he rests a comforting hand on his shoulder.

DIRK: Cool.  
DIRK: Then if you'll allow me to circle back to what this neon abomination said before Kanaya interrupted with her murderous intent, in regards to her and Jade having chemistry;  
DIRK: Fucking bullshit.  
JADE: um. im pretty sure i know her pretty darn well!!  
DIRK: No, you don't.  
JADE: okay, yes, technically i never met this specific version of rose, but like, still! i know rose  
DIRK: Once again- no you fucking don't.  
DIRK: When was the last time you even talked to her? Like really, *actually* talked to her. Not some bullshit fake conversation. Something real. Something canon.

Jade pauses, thinks about it. Thinks about all the times she talked with Rose. Which ones had that strange feeling of 'importance' about them, that she's become aware of recently. The feeling that it was being presented, the way the two timelines were presented to her while she was the other Jade's conduit.

JADE: ...  
JADE: jesus, i  
JADE: i havent talked to her since we were like, 13 and her mom died  
JADE: what the fuck???  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: Wow, seriously? Tell whoever decided that should be a thing they're an idiot for not having two such prominent women spend more time with each other.  
DIRK: Good. I'm glad you were able to at least piece that together, with the knowledge someone else gave you.  
DIRK: But we both know you're really not cut out for it.  
JADE: meaning what!  
DIRK: Meaning that some pointless chick who's only ever been a plot device shouldn't be at the forefront like this.  
JADE: i am NOT pointless!!  
DIRK: Sure you are. The things you're used for might not be, but you yourself? As a person, as someone with feelings and emotions? Who cares.  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: Hey, have you ever considered shutting up?  
DIRK: You don't matter, Jade. It's why you reuniting with your friends never truly happened. You were asleep and missed out on the whole thing, because it didn't matter.  
DIRK: The only one you talked to is Dave, because that's all you are. Some pointless girl orbiting her love interest.  
JADE: shut up  
DIRK: You know I'm right. You saw it for yourself.  
DIRK: I might have removed myself from that timeline, but I think I've seen all I need to from the inner monologue someone else has been giving you.  
DIRK: All that mattered was how you shook up Dave and Karkat's relationship. Once that was taken care of, your role in the story was over.  
DIRK: Who cares how you felt about it? You don't matter. You never have.  
DIRK: The sad part is, I even tried to do better for you.  
DIRK: I tried to focus on how smart you are, the kinds of things you could contribute, how your presence kept Karkat's campaign earnest and all that shit.  
DIRK: But even I couldn't change the fact that you're just a plot device.  
DIRK: A convenient little solution for a universe that never cared about you.  
JADE: shut up!!!  
DIRK: So of course, any pitiful attempt to make you matter was doomed to failure.  
DIRK: This whole story is doomed, because someone just had to bring in a deus ex machina.  
DIRK: So concerned with putting the focus on characters they like, they didn't even focus on being compliant with canon, even after all that talk with Calliope.  
DIRK: It says plain as day that I've been on this ship for years, that I'm going to pull into the orbit of a suitable planet.  
DIRK: Not get cut off a few months in by this bullshit.  
DIRK: And I'm sure you're aware I won't participate in a pointless timeline.  
DIRK: I'd rather die.  
DIRK: So.  
DIRK: You're going to have to decapitate me.  
DAVE: fucking  
DAVE: really dude  
DAVE: youre pulling that now?  
DAVE: im not doing it  
DIRK: That's fine.  
DIRK: I wasn't talking to you anyway.

Jade's lips are pursed shut, breathing hard through her nose. The things he's saying are... fuck. He's not even wrong really, is he. That's the whole point, isn't it, that's what the other Jade told her. It's why having an internal monologue felt so wrong at first. She's not supposed to be like this, she's not supposed to matter. She's been trying so hard to stop taking everything that's happened to her personally, to accept that she has value beyond what her suffering can do for her friends, but she's literally been handed cosmic proof that she doesn't matter, that her only value to the universe is suffering for the good of others.

Even with all this rushing through her head, though, she hasn't stopped paying attention. She can see the way Dirk's head tilts upwards, and knows that he's not talking to Dave, or to her, or to anyone else actually in the room.

She knows he's talking to me.

DIRK: Yeah, I am.  
DIRK: Now stop wasting time detailing her thoughts, and put an end to this.  
DIRK: I'm not persisting in a pointless timeline.

Dirk seems quite convinced of how meaningless this is. But how can he really know for sure?

DIRK: The postscript, dumbass.

Ah, of course- he must be talking about that little snapshot of the pre-retcon timeline. Dirk's face screws up a bit, losing the passiveness that he'd maintained til now.

DIRK: I'm sorry, what? What the fuck are you talking about. What retcon.

The retcon, of course! He'd been reading along, after all. He saw the other Jade take over the narrative, describe exactly what he'd mentioned. The ship travelled for years, before catching up with Dirk. The postscript was merely a moment in time that existed, before things were retconned.

DIRK: Oh, fuck off. That's BULLSHIT.

Hmmm... Maybe it is! He's certainly entitled to that opinion. But the simple fact is, I'm satisfied with it. To me, it seems perfectly respectful of the story, to have that scene be a total fakeout from some other timeline. Absolutely the kind of thing that would happen. Which means the timeline he's so attached to, the one he was convinced is the only real one, was just a doomed offshoot after all.

He's not very happy about this. His hands clench into fists. No, he thinks, that's all wrong. That's NOT an acceptable solution, that's not how things go. But he's not the one in control of this universe's narrative now- he's trapped within it. No matter how much he thinks it's a stupid, bullshit, contrived plot device, it's still canon for him. If this isn't a meaningless offshoot, then it means just waiting to die isn't a valid option anymore.

Everyone else, meanwhile, is just staring at Dirk like he's a crazy person, holding a conversation with thin air. Except for Jade, of course who recognizes just what he's arguing with. And judging by his reactions, it seems to be an argument he's losing.

DIRK: Alright. Fine.  
DIRK: If this is what we're doing, then let's fucking do it.

Dirk stands up dramatically out of his chair, standing tall in front of the group poised against him, who all draw their weapons. Waiting for him to move towards them, and for the battle to begin.

Dirk turns and fucking runs for it immediately.

It takes everyone a second to register what just happened, by which time he's out of the room already. He is nothing if not very, very fast.

JASPROSESPRITE^2:  Hm. Not exactly how I imagined that going down.   
JASPROSESPRITE^2:  Oh well! Not a problem.

Jasprose creates another window-portal, and steps through it, followed by everyone else- to find Dirk running down a hallway towards them, and stopping.

DIRK: Fucking seriously?  
DIRK: God, this is why I wrote you out of the story. You just take all the stakes and drama out of everything.  
DIRK: Well, that, and you're a hideous abomination and a corruption of my daughter.  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: Gee, thanks dad. So glad that me being happy with myself upsets you so much!  
ROXY: yea srsly like... whats ur deal  
ROXY: i think shes great!  
DAVE: also uh  
DAVE: not to complain but arent you going to fight us  
DIRK: Nope. I'm not going to hurt any of my friends.  
KARKAT: WOW, REAL FUCKING BOLD OF YOU TO ASSUME ANY OF US STILL QUALIFY AS THAT.  
DIRK: I already said, the plan was only ever to run away, whenever you caught up with me.  
DIRK: That said though, I don't recall ever being friends with a fucking cat.  
DIRK: So how about I just take care of that?

Dirk holds his hands out towards Jasprose, and before anybody can do anything, pink lightning erupts from them- striking her, and pulling out a 'ghost' of Rose, overlayed with Jaspers, as she starts screaming and yowling in pain.

DIRK: Get the fuck out of my daughter.

Jaspers's soul is then pulled out a bit further- and both souls seem to almost fracture, splitting into a vast array of cats and Roses. They seem to be clipping through the walls of the ship even, as the lightning chains between them all.

Kanaya tries to rush forward, but hits the wall of lightning. She's shocked, and sent back. So that doesn't seem to be an option.

Jade thinks she has one, though. She holds her hands out, and warps space in two points, creating a pair of gravity wells. One directly in front of Dirk's face, pulling straight forward- the other directly behind Dirk's legs, pulling back. The effect being that Dirk is flipped end over end, as Jade rotates the gravity wells along with him, raising him up into the air- before creating a single gravity well on the floor, at several times the strength of Earth's, sending him plummeting straight onto the ground. Interrupting his powers, and allowing the countless souls to remerge into one fused ultimate self, and reenter Jasprose, who collapses to the ground.

JASPROSESPRITE^2:  Wow!! That was fucking horrible!

Kanaya puts a hand on her shoulder, and starts helping her back up. Jade rubs Jasprose's arm briefly to try to comfort her, before turning her attention back to Dirk, keeping the gravity up high so he can't move.

DIRK: Damn. I really should've spent more time in the hyper gravity chamber.  
JADE: ugh. is that even a thing?  
DIRK: Maybe.  
DIRK: So what. Are you going to kill me?  
JADE: maybe  
JADE: im thinking about it  
DIRK: I guess it's only fitting that you'd be the one to do it.  
JADE: what, are you going to go off more about how worthless i am or something and how much special treatment im getting? :/  
DIRK: No.  
DIRK: I mean, that's still true, but it's not why I said that.  
DIRK: I'm saying that because it's your fault that I had to do all this anyway.  
JADE: how the hell is it my fault?  
DIRK: Because you did a worse job than Karkat ever did.  
DIRK: He might've created a universe with cancer, but at least it was still able to make a new universe itself with its shortened time.  
DIRK: You, though?  
DIRK: You created a *sterile* universe.  
DIRK: There are no seeds of Sburb here.  
DIRK: Once this universe grows old and dies, that's it. Existence is over.  
JADE: ...seriously?  
DIRK: I get that such a huge fuckup might be hard for you to accept, but it's the truth. It's why I had to act, even if it made me the villain.  
JADE: shut up, dumbass  
JADE: i meant seriously, as in, are you seriously using that as an excuse??  
JADE: you couldnt just like, TALK about that to people, you had to go messing with everyones head and pitting us all against each other just so you could fuck off for something stupid like that???  
DIRK: Oh, I'm sorry about caring about the continued existence of existence. How very small and petty of me.  
JADE: ok yes of course thats important but its assuming theres only one successful seed of sburb per universe  
JADE: its very probable that theres a huge array of genesis frogs out there! its not a big deal if this particular path happens to result in a dead end because theres tons of other successful paths besides this one  
DIRK: That doesn't change the fact that this is a pointless universe, unless I do something about it.  
JADE: first off, you still couldve talked about it! second off, who the fuck are you to decide that!!!  
DIRK: After everything Sburb put us all through, do you really think everyone would just be A-OK with inflicting it on some other race? It'd be regarded as a wholly villainous act.  
DIRK: And to answer your second point- I'm God.  
JADE: no the fuck youre not!!  
JADE: youre just some pretentious, narcissistic asshole!  
DIRK: Guilty.  
JADE: the universe isnt pointless just because you say it is!  
JADE: the people in it matter!! and i matter!!!  
JADE: maybe to this whole grand story nonsense im just a plot device, but  
JADE: my feelings matter, dirk!!!  
JADE: maybe they never explored what they are but i still had them!!!  
JADE: you dont get to say that me and everyone else dont matter, just because youre some edgy nihilist!!  
JADE: you dont get to mess with our lives just because you think they dont matter in whatever youve decided the grand scheme is!  
DIRK: How much longer do you intend to waste my time with this childish garbage?  
JADE: ugh  
JADE: you really dont care at all about just living in this universe, huh  
JADE: yknow sburb doesnt even have to be villainous, like  
JADE: if youve got the tools and the source code to plant a seed for it, you could just  
JADE: find a way to alter them or something  
JADE: make a kinder, gentler sburb that doesnt have to wipe out a species or put a bunch of kids through hell  
DIRK: Oh, cool. How about I program it to give everyone a whole ton of meaningless candy, too?  
JADE: yeah, i guess that wouldnt be violent and edgy enough for you, huh :/  
DIRK: Right. So are you killing me or do I have to do that myself.  
KANAYA: Personally My Vote Is For Killing HIm  
DAVE: wait uh  
DAVE: i mean  
DAVE: do we have to though  
DAVE: like sure hes a piece of shit now  
DAVE: but hes  
DAVE: i dunno  
DAVE: i just had a talk with him once where he talked about like  
DAVE: knowing how awful he could wind up and that he might be like this one day and he was afraid of it  
DAVE: and maybe that means theres still hope for him  
DIRK: Wow, it's almost like people can change in 7 years, huh.  
ROXY: lmao well  
ROXY: all the more reason u might change again in another 7  
JADE: yknow what, just  
JADE: do whatever you want  
JADE: but im not taking part in it  
JADE: hes not even trying to listen to me and i dont think hes gonna change his mind based on anything i say  
JADE: so im done trying to talk to him  
JADE: and i decided a while ago that i was sick of violence and didnt wanna kill anyone no matter how horrible they are  
JADE: and maybe that meant i didnt contribute anything and just got punched out for my trouble  
JADE: but it was still my choice  
JADE: youre all just gonna have to make your own choice

Jade sighs, and turns around, and starts walking away, towards the bridge.

DAVE: okay thats cool  
DAVE: anyway i guess ill like. tie him up so you can stop the spacey thing youre doing and we can talk this out  
DAVE: hey jake do you have any rope  
JAKE: Hm?  
DAVE: ive seen you pull some out to hogtie people on those wrestling shows you do  
DAVE: do you have some or not  
JAKE: Uhhhh...  
DAVE: you have been paying attention right  
JAKE: Oh no yeah of course! Ive got plenty.  
JAKE: Just ive also been trying to kind of stick to the background seeing as how my last interaction with dirk was a bit uncomfortable.  
DIRK: Bondage isn't going to win me back either, Jake.  
JAKE: Yes see like that, that is exactly what i was afraid of!

Jade doesn't hear much more than that. If she wants to get out of earshot of any potential gruesome chainsaw noises, she'd have to get far enough away to not hear their voices, of course. She gives it about another minute and a half, before getting rid of the gravity well she left beneath Dirk, just as she gets back to the bridge again, and slumps herself down into the seat Dirk had previously occupied.

Not a moment later though, does a purple window open up, and Jasprose immediately pops through and sits herself down onto Jade's lap, pressing against her and leaning in to nuzzle against cheeks, while purring softly.

JASPROSESPRITE^2:  Purr, purr...   
JADE: ...is, um, now the best time for this?   
JASPROSESPRITE^2:  Oh! No, this, isn't a flirtatious action, actually.   
JASPROSESPRITE^2:  You just seemed to be going through a lot, and I wanted to comfort you!   
JASPROSESPRITE^2:  And this is how my feline aspects say to comfort someone!   
JADE: oh. um, thank you!

Jade smiles a bit, and scratches Jasprose slightly behind the ears, which elicits a slightly stronger purr.

JASPROSESPRITE^2:  I just figured you could use some comfort, after that.   
JASPROSESPRITE^2:  The things he was saying to you were just awful!   
JADE: i mean, yeah   
JADE: and hes not even wrong about a lot of it, relevance-wise   
JADE: but he is wrong for only looking at things through that lens   
JADE: and ive been trying to like, not look at stuff that way and consider my own feelings more   
JADE: but its hard sometimes and its even harder when i get it all thrown in my face like that   
JASPROSESPRITE^2:  If it helps, I think you handled it quite well!   
JASPROSESPRITE^2:  You certainly had some choice rebuttals for him there, after all!   
JASPROSESPRITE^2:  And also saved me, of course.   
JASPROSESPRITE^2:  Twice, in fact! Both from irrelevance and from getting part of my soul destroyed!   
JADE: yeah... i guess thats true!   
ROSEBOT: Okay, Dirk, I've got your fucking orange soda for the... morning...

At that moment, Rose decides to show up in her robot body, holding a small little tray with a teacup on it, that she's pouring a large bottle of orange soda into- looking up from her task, to see Jade sitting where Dirk usually is, with the pink and purple form of Jasprose flashing on top of her.

Rosebot immediately drops the fine china and the cheap plastic bottle, as her hands go to her head.

ROSEBOT: Oh my god, not you again.  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: Oh, hello there!  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: So, this is that robot body I've heard so much about, hm?

Jasprose floats off of Jade's lap, and darts over to Rosebot, circling her and inspecting her closely, while Rosebot just groans.

JASPROSESPRITE^2:  It certainly seems nicely made at least! Even with good attention to the more intimate parts of our body. Which is a bit creepy!   
JASPROSESPRITE^2:  And it's certainly a creative solution to the problem of the human mind not being equipped to fully process the experience of an Ultimate Self!   
JASPROSESPRITE^2:  Dear Daddy Dirk may be/have been a horrible person, but he's at least good with robots it seems!   
ROSEBOT: Stop. Stop talking.   
ROSEBOT: Why are you here. Where's Dirk.   
JASPROSESPRITE^2:  Oh, he's either being prepared to be shipped off to prison or something, or getting his head chopped off.   
ROSEBOT: What?!

Rosebot raises an arm, which unfolds into a large, metal sword, which she holds up towards Jasprose. The feline Rose doesn't seem to pay the robo Rose's threat much mind, though, just smiling pleasantly even with a blade in her face.

ROSEBOT: Where. is. Dirk.  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: Oh, he's just down the hall.  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: I wouldn't go interrupting, though! If the second thing is happening, your wife would be pretty focused on that! She's always so dedicated to her goals, after all.  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: Then again, she'd probably be happy to see you! So maybe you should!  
ROSEBOT: Kanaya's here?  
JADE: yeah, um. we kind of all are just about?  
ROSEBOT: ...  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: Speaking of, I can't believe you never invited me to your wedding!!  
ROSEBOT: Why would I ever do that.  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: Am I not family? I'm hurt, Rose. You're hurting your poor cat's feelings.  
ROSEBOT: You are *not* Jaspers.  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: Sure I am! He's just mixed with you, that's all.  
ROSEBOT: Into this, absolute disaster with no filter, and no sense of self-respect or decency?  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: Wow. Where's all this hostility coming from all of a sudden? Is that Dirk's programming messing with you or something.  
ROSEBOT: No? Did you seriously not notice how much I loathed you?  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: Not really, no. I was too busy loving myself!  
ROSEBOT: I wanted to choke you out beneath a pillow.  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: Hmm. Well that seems needlessly harsh! But understandable. There's certainly a history of people not getting along with their other selves, among our group.  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: How about you ditching Kanaya, then. That's because of Dirk, right?  
ROSEBOT: Kanaya... what happened is unfortunate. But she can't help me anymore.  
ROSEBOT: I have a grander purpose, and I can't be tied down by any one person.  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: Wow!!! If that isn't just the biggest piece of shit I've ever found in my litter box.  
JADE: yeah, i really have to agree  
ROSEBOT: Jade, please. You're smarter than to agree with this neon sideshow.  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: Yeah no I think she'd have to be insane to side with you in this case.  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: Take it from another ultimate self- there is no version of Rose that could ever claim to be anything of the sort, and still leave a woman like Kanaya for Dirk's garbage.  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: I mean, I fucked up our relationship with my drinking problem and never got as close to her or got to marry her like you did, and even then I know that just ditching her to pursue some 'greater purpose' is pure crap!  
ROSEBOT: That's because you're small, and petty, and too obsessed with yourself and whatever you find 'hot' to care about anything important.  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: I am literally not? I have the memories and experiences of countless Roses, which is how I know those small, petty things are worth pursuing and putting effort into!  
JADE: yeah, i mean... dirks messed with your head! 100%! you, do know about all the narrative stuff and junk, right?  
ROSEBOT: Of course. He told me about it even before I was put into this robot. That doesn't mean he messed with my head.  
JADE: ...so he told you he had control of that, and could basically control your mind, and wanted to put you into a robot that hed have even more control over  
JADE: and you dont think he was up to anything :T  
ROSEBOT: ...Okay, well, when you put it like that, it sounds bad.  
JADE: yeah maybe cause it is bad!!  
JADE: maybe ditching your wife is bad, rose!!  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: I sure know I'll never do anything like that to you when we get married, Jade.  
JADE: i  
JADE: um???  
ROSEBOT: Oh my god, stop voicing every amorous thought that pops into your head. Jade isn't interested.  
JADE: no no, i am interested in her! were gonna go on a date later. just like, wow thats moving really fast and assuming a lot!  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: Well, it was mostly a joke. Trust me, I intend to move a bit slower than I did last time I really pursued someone!  
ROSEBOT: I am in hell. My best friend is dating a parody of myself and I am in hell.  
JADE: well, if you want to be somewhere better, kanayas just down the hall  
JADE: she could probably do a better job than either of us could, convincing you to get help about this  
ROSEBOT: That's...  
ROSEBOT: Okay, fine. I might as well.  
ROSEBOT: Since it seems like this whole journey and purpose has been cut off prematurely.  
JADE: oh, um! before you go  
JADE: do you know where terezi is?  
TEREZI: R1GHT H3R3

She pops out from behind the wall, having apparently been in the room that Rosebot just came from. Most likely leaning against the wall in a cool, disintereted way while all this played out.

TEREZI: SO WH4T, YOU H3R3 TO BR1NG M3 HOM3?  
JADE: ummm... if you want, maybe!  
TEREZI: W3LL 1 DONT S33 MUCH PO1NT ST1CK1NG 4ROUND ON 4 SH1P D34D 1N SP4C3 FOR TH3 R3ST OF MY L1F3 >:/  
JADE: well, yes! just, um  
JADE: well! i dunno, there might be somewhere else you would want to go  
TEREZI: 1 DOUBT 1T  
JADE: yeah, its... um!  
JADE: did you ever check your phone?  
TEREZI: HUH?  
JADE: you got a message on it a few months back  
JADE: did you ever check it?  
TEREZI: SHOULD 1 H4V3 >:?  
JADE: p... probably, yeah  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: Are you going to share at all what this incredibly cryptic conversation is about?  
JADE: um! i dunno, id rather not get into it right now  
ROSEBOT: Well, I think I've had quite enough of it, personally.  
ROSEBOT: And of you.  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: Ah, of course. See you, Rose!

Rosebot shoots Jasprose a glare as she strolls off, though she merely gets a pleasant smile in return, while Terezi pulls her phone out of her pocket, along with a charger, which she plugs into a wall outlet. Seems she hasn't had much need of the thing until now.

JASPROSESPRITE^2:  So, is this a thing you really don't wanna talk about because it'd be kind of awkward? Or is it a secret?   
JADE: um, kind of both? less awkward though and more just- i think probably its a good idea to learn whatever she can on her own now and then, give her some time to process it...   
JASPROSESPRITE^2:  That's fair. So what kind of secret is it?   
JADE: a secret secret!!   
JASPROSESPRITE^2:  Aww. That's no fun at all.   
TEREZI: QU13T   
JASPROSESPRITE^2:  Hm? I'm not being THAT loud, am-   
TEREZI: QU13T!!!

Yeah- that's something along the lines of what Jade expected. And Jasprose, fortunately, does seem to get that whatever is going on is kind of a big deal, as Terezi reads over the texts she got from Vriska. Several times, from how long it seems to take. Or maybe Vriska just had a lot more to say than Jade thought. She only saw the first 3 lines of it, after all. It's hard to read Terezi's expression, though, how she actually feels about this. It's a fair while, before she speaks up.

TEREZI: ...SO  
TEREZI: UH  
TEREZI: 1M GU3SS1NG S1NC3 YOU KNOW 1 GOT TH3S3 T3XTS SOM3HOW  
TEREZI: YOU KNOW SOM3 OTH3R STUFF TOO  
TEREZI: L1K3  
TEREZI: WH3R3 SH3 1S  
JADE: yeah... i do  
JADE: but um! where she is, you cant really... you can go to her if you want  
JADE: but you wont ever be able to come back  
JADE: and maybe thats what youd want, if you feel like you dont fit in here  
JADE: or maybe youre like, past her, i dont know  
JADE: you probably need some time to um! think about it either way  
TEREZI: MMM  
JADE: ...in the meantime, though! any chance i could, um  
JADE: have john?  
TEREZI: YOU SUR3 KNOW 4 LOT, H4RL3Y  
TEREZI: YOU S331NG TH3 FUTUR3 1N YOUR DR34MS 4G41N OR SOM3TH1NG?  
JADE: no, but thats not too far off i guess  
TEREZI: 4NYW4Y SUR3  
TEREZI: 1 W4S ONLY R34LLY H4NG1NG ONTO H1M FOR D1RK 4ND 1TS NOT L1K3 1 L1K3 TH3 GUY  
TEREZI: H3R3

Terezi pulls a small wallet from her pocket now, and tosses it to Jade. She opens it to check, and... yep. Yep, that is... that's definitely a card with the dead body of her brother on it. She closes the wallet again, before she has too much time to think about it.

JADE: well... i guess, thats everything then!  
JADE: we still have to go get roses physical body i guess, but  
JADE: everythings... pretty much taken care of  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: You don't sound very happy about that!  
JADE: well... i mean im not  
JADE: ive been waiting for this moment for a while now and everyone else has been waiting for it even longer  
JADE: and somehow i dont... i dont feel like much was accomplished  
JADE: theres so much thats still all messed up by this  
JADE: i dont know if were going to be able to get rose back to normal  
JADE: i dont know how we could go about reviving john  
JADE: i dont know if either choice is going to make terezi happy  
TEREZI: 1T PROB4BLY WONT  
JADE: i dont even know which answer im hoping to hear when they come back out and tell us what they did with dirk  
JADE: and even in the best case scenarios, like  
JADE: even if rose is back in her body is her relationship with kanaya just, going to go right back to normal like nothing happened?? rose seemed pretty convinced that she was doing the right thing, what if thats not all brainwashing??  
JADE: if we get john alive again, then, yay! he can go back to spending all his time as a depressed shut in  
JADE: say terezi does wind up happy, thatd still mean that either we never get to see her again, or vriska never gets to see her again, and either of those options is pretty bittersweet  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: Ahhh, so Vriska is the mysterious texter, then!  
JADE: oh, hush, it was super obvious  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: Yeah, it kind of was.  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: But anyway, I think you can tone down the introspection train a little bit!  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: Not everything's fixed, sure.  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: But it still seems to me like a whole lot of things got fixed!  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: I mean, would you have rather let Dirk go free, Rose remain his slave, John remain dead, and Terezi remain... here, I guess?  
JADE: well... no  
JADE: i guess its an improvement over all of that  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: Exactly! And even better, now things are in a position to get better!  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: Maybe it won't happen, who knows. But it's actually possible now!  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: And I, for one, have high hopes that things are going to work out!  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: Just like I have high hopes for our date tomorrow!  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: Or, you know. In a few days, maybe, if you need a bit of time to process all this.  
JADE: ...heh  
JADE: nah, tomorrows fine  
JADE: as long as youre okay with something a little low key!  
JADE: i could go for just. kinda cuddling on the couch and watching something happy i think  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: Sounds perfect! I'll be looking forward to it. :3

Jade's very, very grateful that Jasprose is here right now. She'd definitely been starting to feel pretty down, but. Well, that's just not really her, is it? Jade's always tried to have a positive outlook on things. Even if things seem pretty rough, that's what she's going to do now.

Whatever happens, she just has to have hope.   



End file.
